Don't be a dope(r)

Lance Armstrong finally finished flushing all the performance enhancing drugs out of his body and now he's ready to race and make some people give a shit about the Tour de France again.

Sorry Lance, but there is nothing you can do to make me care about bicycle racing. And there is nothing you can do to make me think that you didn't use performance enhancing drugs when you won that stupid race all those times. After all Lancey boy, when people asked you if you used performance enhancing drugs you'd duck the question by saying that you've "never blood doped." I guess that's your way of answering so you can sleep at night and say that you were clean all those time when you really weren't.

You and Marion Jones should hook up dude. Just think of the cheatin' babies you and she could make together. Why I bet they'd take cheating to a whole new level.

Only 7 more!

I caught a snippet of Sportscenter this morning and they were doing a story about Bonds hitting another homer and how he was just seven away from tying Hank Aaron's home run record.

I'm old enough to remember when Hank broke the Babe's then record of 714 homers. I was a huge baseball fan then and I was caught up in the national frenzy of Aaron's chase of Ruth's record. It was understood that back then the strongest drugs they took were over the counter pain relievers and speed, although they could have been taking more because back then the corporate media protected pro athletes more than they do the Bush administration.

It was also understood that Hank Aaron was one of the nicest pro players ever and that he was full of natural ability and had the strongest quickest wrists in baseball. He hit for power through out his career but he also hit for average, in other words he just fucking hit the ball and when he hit it, he hit it hard. He never hit over 50 homers in a season, he just went out there day after day and did his job.

He paid a huge price for breaking Babe Ruth's home run record. He endured racial taunts, death threats, and more all the while he chased the Babe. As if that was not bad enough, the night he finally hit 715 a couple of white assholes, and it's okay for me to call them that since I am a white asshole myself, jumped from the stands and ran around the bases with Aaron.

I idolized Hammerin' Hank and I was lucky enough to see him hit # 715, it remains one of my favorite sports memories. On the other hand I could not care less if and when Bonds break Aaron's record. In my opinion Bonds is a cheater who used something to enhance his performance and to enhance the growth of his muscles.

Yes, I know people put on weight as they age. Look at what Barry did:

Now look at me when I was younger:

And look at me today:

So yeah, I understand the whole we all gain weight as we get older thing. But what the boys at BALCO, that's the SF Bay area goon juice company where Barry's now jailed old personal trainer worked, did for Barry is just wrong. He used something to gain all that muscle mass and he hit more home runs because of it. His angry out bursts at the press and fans are just his 'roid rage coming out. Plain and simple, I think he cheated to get the record and it will be forever tainted until some one who has undergone extensive steroid testing breaks it, someone like say Alex Rodriguez.

And just so you don't think I hate black people and claim that they are the only athletes who cheat, I think ol' Lance "One Nut" Armstrong is a cheater too.

He cheated on his wife, although in his defense who can resist the unholy charms of Sheryl Crow?, and I think he cheated in the Tour De France too. Notice when anyone asks him if he took any performance enhancers, he always answers, "I never doped." Lance, you are not answering the question, you cheater.

I hope you and Barry are happy with your hollow accomplishments and that you both sleep real sound at night, just don't expect me to respect either of you. Hammerin' Hank and Greg LeMond are still tops in my book.