This week in douchebaggery

• Fox News bubblehead Gretchen Carlson, former Miss America and current Miss Idiot, thinks atheists are behind the Satanist monument flap in Oklahoma.  According to her logic we don't believe in the god they made up but we do believe in the devil they made up.  Riiiiiiiiight. Makes sense.  NOT.
• Utah Governor Hatred McHatepants says he's invalidating all same sex marriages that took place in his state before the SCOTUS stopped marriage equality.  I'll bet he's going to let all those counties keep all the fees that they charged same sex couples for marriage licenses because we all know people like him hate the gays but they love to take their money.
• It's only Thursday and already one Christian minister was arrested for murdering his wife, another had to resign after it came to light that he'd been having multiple affairs, and another claims Obama isn't the Antichrist but he is working for him.  Do these people know they're making more atheists every time they open their mouths or commit yet another hypocrisy?
• Jenny McCarthy's kid doesn't have autism.  Has she apologized yet for all the people who fell for her anti vaccine bullshit?  No?  Yeah, I'm not surprised.  Let's all shit in a box and mail it to her care of The View.
• Robert Gates, former Sec. of Defense and former human being, has written a tell all book about his days in the Obama cabinet.  I'll never read it because I don't read neo con fiction but evidently others will, and they're the same people who believe that James Carvill is a Democrat and that Obama is a gay socialist Muslim.
• The lone bright spot in this past week was the fact that serial liars and cheaters Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds didn't make it into the baseball hall of fame.  I hope they never ever get in.  If Shoeless Joe isn't allowed in, they neither should they be.  And fuck Pete Rose too.  Fuck him with Sparky Anderson's dead dusty dick.

Only 7 more!

I caught a snippet of Sportscenter this morning and they were doing a story about Bonds hitting another homer and how he was just seven away from tying Hank Aaron's home run record.

I'm old enough to remember when Hank broke the Babe's then record of 714 homers. I was a huge baseball fan then and I was caught up in the national frenzy of Aaron's chase of Ruth's record. It was understood that back then the strongest drugs they took were over the counter pain relievers and speed, although they could have been taking more because back then the corporate media protected pro athletes more than they do the Bush administration.

It was also understood that Hank Aaron was one of the nicest pro players ever and that he was full of natural ability and had the strongest quickest wrists in baseball. He hit for power through out his career but he also hit for average, in other words he just fucking hit the ball and when he hit it, he hit it hard. He never hit over 50 homers in a season, he just went out there day after day and did his job.

He paid a huge price for breaking Babe Ruth's home run record. He endured racial taunts, death threats, and more all the while he chased the Babe. As if that was not bad enough, the night he finally hit 715 a couple of white assholes, and it's okay for me to call them that since I am a white asshole myself, jumped from the stands and ran around the bases with Aaron.

I idolized Hammerin' Hank and I was lucky enough to see him hit # 715, it remains one of my favorite sports memories. On the other hand I could not care less if and when Bonds break Aaron's record. In my opinion Bonds is a cheater who used something to enhance his performance and to enhance the growth of his muscles.

Yes, I know people put on weight as they age. Look at what Barry did:

Now look at me when I was younger:

And look at me today:

So yeah, I understand the whole we all gain weight as we get older thing. But what the boys at BALCO, that's the SF Bay area goon juice company where Barry's now jailed old personal trainer worked, did for Barry is just wrong. He used something to gain all that muscle mass and he hit more home runs because of it. His angry out bursts at the press and fans are just his 'roid rage coming out. Plain and simple, I think he cheated to get the record and it will be forever tainted until some one who has undergone extensive steroid testing breaks it, someone like say Alex Rodriguez.

And just so you don't think I hate black people and claim that they are the only athletes who cheat, I think ol' Lance "One Nut" Armstrong is a cheater too.

He cheated on his wife, although in his defense who can resist the unholy charms of Sheryl Crow?, and I think he cheated in the Tour De France too. Notice when anyone asks him if he took any performance enhancers, he always answers, "I never doped." Lance, you are not answering the question, you cheater.

I hope you and Barry are happy with your hollow accomplishments and that you both sleep real sound at night, just don't expect me to respect either of you. Hammerin' Hank and Greg LeMond are still tops in my book.