To make your toddler's boner go down, tap him on the back gently while singing Methodist hymns.
Use plenty of tongue when giving mouth to mouth in West Virginia, it's the polite thing to do.
If someone is choking on a food you like, try to suck that food out of their mouth.
Wash your eyes out after reading this stupid post. No, seriously, go wash them. And get some therapy too.
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