Keepin' it real

It's time for another round of my opinions and takes on the reality shows I watch.

Top Chef:

This hasn't been a stellar season in Washington DC. And I hate most of the remaining chefs, except for this one:
(sigh) I hope my girl Tiffany goes all the way because she's the real deal, the total package, the gal who put the hot in 'If you can't stand the heat, then get out of the kitchen.' She gorgeous, has a great laugh, can cook the lights out, and did I mention she's hot? I hope she wins it all and then turns around and gives Padma a big ol' kiss and then they make out for about two hours while we get to watch. Oh sorry, did I write that last sentence out loud? Oops.

Project Runway:

I love this new season of PR. They've expanded the episodes to an hour and a half because after all, what the hell else do they run on Lifetime that's better than PR? Nothing. That's what. What I like best about these expanded episodes is they show us what goes on with the designers while the judges are deciding who stays and who goes. I love seeing the designers react when they find out who won and who's on the bottom.

So far this season I despise, I hate, I absolutely can not abide that twat Gretchen. And Ivy too. Both of them are delusional, self aggrandizing bitches who would back stab their own mothers to get ahead in the PR competition They can't be kicked off soon enough to suit me. I want them both gone ASAP.

My favorites this season are:
Valerie. Miss Hottie from Cleveland. She reminds me of my cute as a button friend Donna S. and she designs great looking clothes. She almost got sucked into the orbit of the bitch planet known as Gretchen but so far she has been able to fight off that madness. I hope she makes it to the end.
I also really like Mondo. He's an odd little dude who seems like he was born to be on this show. His personal look is weird, but it's a good weird, in fact if I had had more balls I probably would have dressed more like him back when I was younger. I like the stuff he's designed for his model so far and I hope he gets to the end as well.

Work of Art:
I was over joyed to see Abdi Farah win the whole thing. His art was consistently the strongest week after week and his final show was damn good. I was glad he beat out those two art school douchebags who had treated everyone so badly. And I was doubly glad to see him beat out Tits 'I hate the male gaze on my body so much so that I dress to attract it' McBitch. I'm already looking forward to the nest season of this show and I'm praying to the dark gods that spawned me that Sarah Jessica Horseface doesn't make any more appearances on it. And that Bravo stops running ads for those god awful housewives shows during every fucking commercial break.