Things we need less of in 2009

1. Political pundits
2. Pat Buchanan and his sister Bay
3. Anyone with the last name of Spears
4. People who don't know how to use a turn lane
5. People who don't stop at stop signs when making right hand turns
6. Remakes of movies
7. Fred Thompson
8. Body fat
9. New church construction
10. Corporate greed
11. White folks hatin' on brown skinned folks
12. Animal fat in our diets
13. Anything Monsanto makes
14. Hypocrisy
15. Intelligent design
16. Creationism
17. Allowing Israel to murder Palestinians
18. Weird smells in the grocery store
19. Adam Sandler movies
20. People who get all up in yo bizness
21. Hemorrhoids
22. Snotty young store clerks who don't realize customers pay their fucking salary
23. Spoiled dairy products
24. Expensive beer
25. Beatings about the head and neck that cause brain damage
26. Afrikaner accents
27. The slow march to stupidity
28. Anyone who still believes Madonna is actually still a sex symbol
29. Madonna
30. Kids with odd names and the parents who give them odd names
31. People who play cards slowly on Yahoo
32. The obvious anti Obama bias of the Associated Press
33. Greenhouse gasses
34. The high keening sound in our heads that we get after being beat about the head and neck
35. People who think Harley Davidson's are cool
36. Drifters who give us the evil eye
37. Unrecognized geniuses
38. Journeyman utility infielders who can't hit above .200
39. Mutant insects
40. Chick tracts
41. Being drawn and quartered
42. Poodles
43. People named Bush in any governmental office
44. Russell Brand
45. Dane Cook
46. FOX "News"
47. Anyone who says something is "fierce"
48. That red head chick who came in second on the first Top Chef
49. Faux hawks
50. Asswipes who makes lists of things we need less of in 2009