Now that he's been fired, here's a list of things former FBI director James Comey can do to occupy his time

1. Prank call Donald Rumsfeld. 
2. Investigate the pizza delivery person who keeps pissing on his lawn.
3. Find Jesus.
4. Write a sexy bromance book about his love for crossdresser J. Edgar Hoover.
5. Interpretively dance the Bhagavad Gita. 
6. Masturbate obsessively.
7. Start a Youtube channel to show off his slapstick comedy skills.
8. Follow the band Jars of Clay.
9. Become an expert on the works of Gunter Grass.
10. Bitch about how he was ousted because he's a white male, because men's rights tho.

It's about damn time

Finally, there is an easy way to make toast while camping.

Maybe now that we've got that "making toast while camping" thing licked, we can get to work on that pesky HIV/AIDS thingy.