"I marched because I want to wear white shoes after Labor Day and I'm tired of those black people giving me the side eye for it. They think they're so much better than me because I make a fashion faux pas, fuck them. It's time to take fashion black, oops, I mean back from black people. Let America wear white again!"
"A black chick turned me down for a date, NOW ALL BLACK PEOPLE MUST SUFFER! My penis demands collective punishment!"
"Sorry, we were just there to pick up white supremacist gay dudes. Now put that camera away, our beards, oops, I mean, our wives might see this photo."
"We want tuna salad every day for lunch. WITH EXTRA MAYO! Those Negroes don't like mayo and it's our country so we have to get rid of the anti mayo activists."
"We're scared we'll become irrelevant, and also that we'll be forced to gay marry a Mexican Muslim drug dealing crossdresser."
"Pie. I like pie."
"Look, I got hammered and dressed up like Jared Kushner and just ended up there okay? Don't tell my boss or my rabbi that I came to this thing all right? It just feels right to be around other unsuccessful frightened out of work white males who live in trailer parks and or our parents basement."