"Can we ban those poutine eatin' hockey lovin' maple syrup squirtin' Canadians too? They smell funny and they're so healthy, they're up to something. And they're always welcoming Muslims refugees with open arms. I bet they're all planning something together."
"I favor this ban only because I'm afraid that if my kids hear about Islam they'll leave behind the hell fire and brimstone kind of Christianity we grew up with and become Muslims, then we'd have to ban them too."
"If we ban Muslims, then who am I going to open fire on when I nut up and start shooting off my automatic machine guns? I can't very well shoot white folks now can I."
"It's not a problem for me personally, so it's not a problem. Also, I'm wearing lunch meat underpants."
"Am I the only black person in this post? I am? Oh gee thanks for making me speak for all of black America. No pressure there is there?"
"I hate that material. It's so bland and ugly. I'm glad The Orange One is banning Muslin."
"I'm sorry. I appear to have wandered into this post by accident. I came here to buy some drugs. Can you point me to where I can pick up some marijuana or oxycontin? Thanks a bunch."