Greetings from Crete! Shut up with what you heard, Crete is a great place for big American tourists to visit. Come see!
We've got dancing.
And some of the best beards in Greece.
Crete is full of music!
And beards. Did we mention the beards?
We also have this thing. We're not sure what it is, it may be a loaf of bread, we're not sure, but the important thing is we have it.
We also have women.
And many of them don't have beards.
If you come and spend your big America dollars here, we'll let you go in this building.
And you can go here too. Look at all that parking space!
Beards, music, parking, we've got it all in Crete. So come here on your holiday because the rest of Greece is closed. And don't worry, we won't be in black and white forever, we're due for complete colorization soon.