Thursday, March 13, 2014

What are today's active senior citizens up to?

Today's senior citizens don't just smell like stale piss, vote Republican, eat supper at 4:30 in the afternoon, and shout at neighborhood kids.  No, they're doing much more than that with their healthier longer more active lives.

Some seniors enjoy filling cakes with laxatives and giving them to friends on their birthdays.  Others love knit and crochet condoms and g strings for their sexually active buddies.

 It true the world over, seniors love to make lists.

Travel and tourism is a big hit among today's seniors.  This enterprising fellow sold a big tour package to seniors in his town without telling them that he'd cut the brake lines on the bus that was supposed to take them to Branson, MO and after it crashed, he traveled to Mexico with all that cash he made and now he lives on the beach with a large breasted 20 year old Mexican woman who doesn't mind his constant farting and pernicious old man smell.
Seniors like to wear hats when kidnapping disobedient children, masks too.  They also like to leave their prosthetic limbs laying around on buses, at churches, and in libraries, so watch out!

And finally some senior citizens love to play practical jokes in their golden years.  This old gal loves to fill dolls with anthrax, STD's, or heroin before giving them to sick children.  When those kids get hopped up on 'H' and then get VD, their terminal cancer is the least of their worries!  Hilarity.

So, as you can see, today's old folks are keeping busy while the rest of us pine for the good old days when people didn't live so god damn long.

2 comments:

mistah charley, ph.d. said...

i'm a senior and this weekend i am going to visit my dead mother's sister, who herself is apparently in her last illness - i am traveling by Southwest Airlines and was pleased to find out that not only does this airline give people my age and better a reduced rate, but allows us to cancel and reschedule without penalty - and even get our money back

Dr. Monkey Hussein Monkerstein said...

Well, aren't you special.