The Johnson City Press guide to great newspapering

First off most people who take our newspaper aren't used to good reporting so that frees us up a lot and we don't have to do hard hitting investigative journalism.  But if our readers don't expect good reporting from us, they do expect something for their money.

So here's what we do in lieu of real reporting, we make every story we can into an anti Obama story, it's what our readers want.  A kid lost his cat?  Blame Obama.  A senior citizen got stabbed in Walmart?  Blame Obama.  Obama wins the election? Make sure people know most people in the Tri Cities voted for Romney.

We also do lots of stories about businesses that advertise with us, after all they're the ones that pay our bills.

We also run lots of old photos, like this one because we have lots of space to fill.

We run lots of ads too, in fact, we cut stories in order to run more ads.

And when in doubt, we blame Obama and liberals again.

Lots of photos of children help keep our readers happy that there is little or no journalistic content in our paper.

So, to sum up, we run lots of photos, ads, and make every story into an anti Obama one, that's our secret to success!