"Hey comrade, what happened to all the vodka?"
"The Politburo said they didn't drink it all. And hey, look, this month's copy of 'Olga and the Tractor' finally came!"
"We asked every one on the collective farm if they drank it all and they said 'No.' "
"Bossy the capitalist cow didn't drink all the vodka, instead she ate all the LSD that the CIA was going to put in our drinking water. Look at Bossy's funny drug induced hallucinations. Haha, silly capitalist cow!"
"So tell me comrade, who drank all the vodka? And while you're at it, tell me what your reactionary parents have been up to..."
"My sister drank a lot of the vodka and then she gave some to Mr. Socialist Snake. Or maybe Bossy hallucinated that as well."
"Apparatchik Alligator drank some of the vodka, so did Brother Elephant. But surely they didn't drink it all."
"Hahaha, comrade this has all been a big joke on you! Our glorious socialist republic never has and never will run out of vodka! We are best producers of vodka in world."
"Most brilliant scientists in all of the motherland work tirelessly to make sure we never run out."
"Now, on a serious note, have you informed on your friends and family lately?"
This episode of Soviet Children's TV was brought to you by Molotov Cocktail brand American style blue jeans, Ivan Denisovich Dating Service, and Stakhanovite Dachas.