"How soon will you up and around? We've got to hit our Obamacare abortion quota or we'll get hit with a fine."
"What? Someone on food stamps has a hang nail? I'll be there right away."
"Yes, under Obamacare you get to have lots of unprotected sexy sex with all the hot sexy nurses, even the Christian ones have to put out."
"Come back here you Christian woman! I have to give you an unwanted Obamacare abortion and some free birth control pills and then I have to let black Muslim men fornicate with you or I could face prison time."
"I'm only 35 but my Obamacare death panel has sentenced me to die. Boy, am I ever sorry I voted for that secret Muslim socialist."
"I came in with a herniated disc but they said I have to get a sex change. God damn you Obamacare."
"I'm a Christian so my Obamacare policy says I have to pay you in blow jobs. If I don't get gay with you they'll throw me in jail and make me pay a fine."
"Five abortions this year? That's nothing, I had seven just this month. I keep getting pregnant at all those Obamacare gang bangs they make me attend. I'd rather be going to church but my policy says I have to let Muslims, atheists, Mormons, and evolutionists gang bang me or else I'll have to pay a fine and go to prison. I curse what America has become and I pray for the sweet release of death."