"I'm looking for mustache wax."
"I'm looking for something that will fill the gaping hole in my life that I currently fill with self loathing and peanut butter."
"I'm picking up chicks."
"I'm hoping to score some weed."
"I'm looking for true Christians, I doubt I'll find any."
"I'm hunting for the DVD box set of all the celebrity sex tapes."
"A few good men."
"Revenge on the bitchy hairdresser who gave me this ridiculous hairdo."