Thursday, September 26, 2013

Wisconsin Works! For you!

Hi there, I'm Che Darcheeze, the head of business recruiting for the great state of Wisconsin.  I'm here to tell you what the liberal media won't, that Wisconsin is a great state to relocate your business to!  Under our dear leader Gov. Scott Walker our state is more business friendly than ever before!  Sit back and let me tell you all about us!

 Agriculture in our state is booming, in the few months that we're not a frozen snow blasted hell-scape that is.  We're working hard to figure out something to grow in the snow, we haven't gotten there yet but we've got our best minds working on it.

But don't let that stop you from bringing your business to Wisconsin, look at all the great things the badger state offers you.  Hey, that's one thing right there, badgers.  We have badgers!  Want disgusting disease filled wolverines?  Then get your ass to Michigan buddy because the only exotic wildlife we stock is badgers.

Another great thing about Wisconsin is since there's not much to do here, your employees will fuck like rabbits, which means bigger families.

And also we just passed a law requiring all shops and stores to stock as many kinds of sausage as they can.
Frankly, we were tired of being known only for our cheese.

We also passed a law banning all types of degenerate art.  We packed up all that crap we had and snuck over the Minnesota line and dumped that shit.  So there's nothing to distract your future employees!

But we do provide wholesome distractions to any employees you may have who still have energy after a long day.  We're the upper Midwestern square and line dance capital of the upper Midwest.  That's right, suck it North Dakota.

We also offer many places to hunt and fish.
And if you're brave enough, or foolish enough, depending on how you look at it, you can even eat what you hunt or catch.  Just remember, we're not responsible for anything that may happen to you after you eat what you hunt or catch.

 On top of all that, we also offer your business docile employees.
Employees who know how to behave and who will not question your authority because they've had all insolence shocked out of them at an early age.
 So, what are you waiting for?  More great facts about Wisconsin?  Well, okay's more stuff about us you probably didn't know.
 We lead the nation in stick gathering.

 Our gals are the prettiest in the country.  Didn't she win Miss America last year?  No?  Well, she sure should have!

We were the first state to can, distribute, and sell whipped jizz.

This guy staring at what ever the hell that shit is really wants to come work for you.  In fact, he says he'll take a pay cut to do it because he's tired of staring at that shit.  So if not for yourself, do it for him, relocate your business badger the great state of Wisconsin.

Call now!  Operators are standing by!

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