"I'm trying to sell my sisters to a white slavery ring so I can give the money to needy millionaires because the Bush era tax cuts just aren't enough. However, I am not selling the horse. No way. No how."
"We're pelting pinko socialists and union agitators with hydrochloric acid filled balloons in the hopes that their horrific screams of pain will replace their jibber jabber about wage and benefits inequality."
"I'm letting this horse do to me what they've been doing to me metaphorically for years. And I let them film it so they can put it on a DVD and sell it later."
"I'm teaching my friends and family how to catch, kill, and eat dogs so that they'll leave the good food for the rich folks."