Thursday, September 23, 2010

The next baby based threat to the USA

Greetings my fellow Americans, I'm Cecil Clendennon founder of Christian Teabaggers of the Jesus States of America. And I'm here on this godless liberal blog to warn any God fearing, gun loving, freedom drenched conservatives who may have wandered over here by mistake, especially those who were lured here by false promises of nude photos of Archie Panjabi and Archie and Jughead. I'm here to warn my fellow teabaggin' friends about the newest baby based threat to America.

You've all heard about anchor babies and about terror babies. I bring you now news of a baby threat that is far more insidious than those two baby threats combined. This new baby threat comes from within our borders and it's of course brought to you by liberals. This new baby based threat to our great and Jesus lovin' nation is...ENTITLEMENT BABIES aka 'benefit babies.'

Friends, liberals are having babies for the express purpose of obtaining unconstitutional benefits for them. Once liberal 'families' have their Pelosi mandated quota of abortions, they swear an oath that the rest of the babies they have will grab the government money teat and they will suck at it until they bleed it dry. It starts with the babies getting free food and medical care that's paid for by you and me, then they graduate to using government run programs like the libraries and schools. Then these leeches steal all the unemployment benefits they can grab, college loans and Pell grants and then to top off their life of greed, they latch onto Social Security and Medicare and they ride it as long as they live. Friends, it seems that liberals finally found their reason for having babies, albeit a sick, twisted reason. They don't love these kids they're pushing out, they are only having them so they can abuse government handouts.

I urge you all to report any pregnant liberals to the FBI, the 700 Club, and to John Birch Society. We can't allow these liberal freeloading babies to ruin America for the rest of us. Report and abort all liberals who are having 'benefit babies.' We got to stop them now or else or government won't have enough money to fight the war against Muslims and gays. Do we want our tax dollars, which are too high anyways, to go to some thumb sucking baby so it can have a bottle of milk or do we want our money to go to keeping America safe from limp wristed Muslim hairdressers and Spanish talkin' tango dancin' pinkos from Chile?

We got to stop the liberal breeding menace now! Join me and we'll tea bag them all for Jesus, for our future, and for a Chilean free America!

In Jesus name we pray, amen.

4 comments:

Blueberry said...

I forgot to have any benefit babies.

Margaret Benbow said...

Scary to think there are people who would love to VOTE for this guy!

Cap'n Ergo "XL+1" Jinglebollocks said...

I'm relieved that you're out there doin' your job for Teabaggin' Freedom and outing all o' them folks who hate America. Gawd bless ye, sir!

Mnmom said...

Glad Cecil is on the job! Next he needs to go after those commie comrade-lovin' so-called Chrisstions spending their time feeding the hungry and poor and helping them maintain their selfish greedy lifestyle of poverty and free lunch programs! They need to help shore up hurting CEO's and corporate interests like other God-fearing real Americans! They make the Baby Jesus and Saint Paul cry.