More apologies

Hello America Joe Barton here and guess what? I'm sorry. That's what.

I'm sorry that we've got an uppity nigra President who insists on butting his big nose in where it don't belong. I'm sorry we got a political system where someone like him, and by that I mean an uppity nigra, could get elected.

I'm also sorry that nigras, women, and other people who don't have souls are allowed to vote. As you all know from your proper reading of the Bible, only white men who own land have souls and only they should be allowed to vote.

I'm sorry that freedom of speech is curtailed, whoa look at me using a big fancy word like 'curtailed', for those who wish to say they'd like to see our current President strung up for being such a damn dirty socialist and who most likely is using his down time in office to impregnate white women.

I'm sorry that we allow our government to make any laws that get in the way of business. Jesus wants us to take care of business by not getting in the way of business. We ought to be making laws that help business.

I'm sorry we got a government at all. It don't do nothin' but get in the way of people's right to do business. Look at them godless African nations like Somalia, they ain't got no government and it's a paradise over there. It's a place where you can make what you like out of yourself and your business. Most of the world's pirates come from Somalia, and that's pretty cool because we all know that pirates is fun and deep down good guys. I learned that from all them Disney pirate movies.

I'm sure I'm sorry for more stuff but I ain't got time to spill out any more apologies because I've been invited by the CEO of BP to go to supper. We're having money stuffed crabs but we'll be skipping desert because we don't like humble pie.