Random thoughts on last night's Oscar show

Over all a good show. Very tight, not much superfluous shit and thank gawd there was no message from the president of the Academy.

Who the fuck is Sam Worthington and why is he on the Oscar telecast?

Could someone not have told Vera Farmiga, an actress who I totally don't 'get' at all by the way, that her dress looked like shit? Could she not look in the mirror and see that her ghastly translucent skin clashed like crazy with that fashion abomination?

Let's be honest, that girl who starred in Precious is a heart attack with a triple side of stroke waiting to happen.
I'd be surprised if she doesn't already have diabetes. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for her and I'm glad she got the work but seriously, this is the pinnacle of her cinematic career. And we all know you were just being nice when you said she has many more great film roles ahead of her Oprah. What you meant to say was that she's the African American Haing Ngor of her generation.

Why do they persist in having dancers interpretively dance to Oscar nominated music? I'm glad dancers are gettin' some work and all but come the hell on, it's embarrassing to watch.

Man, James Cameron must be hell to live with. Did you see what he did to Suzy Amis's looks? She used to be attractive until she took up with him. I'm guessing he's so narcissistic that he's trying to make her over in his image. Poor Suzy looks like she's anorexic and or getting ready to audition for the female version of Bent.

Speaking of women who were married to James Cameron, nice segue huh, I'm super glad Kathryn Bigelow won the best director Oscar, I'm glad her film won best picture, and I'm glad she escaped the evil clutches of James Cameron.
And screw what anybody else says, her dress was fantastic. And so was this one:
Really Academy? You really had to jam John Revolta on us yet another year? I was so happy not to see his autism denying face then you had to trot him out yet again. Memo to the Academy, the only people who want to see him are unmarried females who are 50 something and shut ins. The rest of us don't ever want to see him again. I mean it.

Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin did a fine job of hosting but they should have had Hugh Jackman back as host this year.

Neil Patrick Harris should host every awards show ever.

Thanks yet again for fucking up the tribute portion of the show ABC. Your director decided that we didn't need to see those first few dead people's photos. Why? I'll never know. Oh well, at least you do it consistently every year.

Every single 'young' Hollywood person who took the stage to either introduce a clip or award an Oscar looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Those kids from Twilight were the worst ones of all.

You can take Miley Ray Cyrus out of the trailer park, but you'll never be able to take the trailer park out of her.

Someone tell Tyler Perry he's not funny. Go on. Go tell him. I'll wait.

Congratulations ABC! You found Oscar pre show hosts that I hated more than the ones you used to use! I honestly didn't think it was possible to find someone worse than Billy Bush but you searched high and low and you did it! Way to go. At least you didn't inflict Ryan Seacrest on me, so you got that going for you.

Did I mention how much I love Kathryn Bigelow's dress? Oh, ok. Sorry.

Hey, I nearly forgot, I totally got that Sandra Bullock Oscar call right. So what if all my other predictions were wrong?

That's all for now.

Oh wait. Hang on. Did anybody ever figure out who the fuck Sam Worthington was? No? I didn't think so.