And now here's a word or two from the Aluminum Council of America

Hey everybody in blogland, how's it going for you these days?

Good, good, whatever. Listen, you want to know how it's going for us? It's going tough as h-e-double hockey sticks, excuse our French. What with a sour economy and your recycling and reusing our foil and all the cans and shit our members make, we're not making the kind of money we used to.

And it's hurting our members. They're not able to vacation in places like Europe or Asia anymore, they have to settle for places like Canada and New Jersey. They can't buy cars made by Cadillac or Mercedes these days so they have to settle for Lincolns and Saabs. Our members kids may have to go to second tier Ivy league colleges or god forbid an ACC/tobacco road college. Trust me, you don't want that shit happening.

So what can you do to stop our economic slide? BUY MORE OF OUR PRODUCTS!!! Your house looks pretty shabby people, so why not cover that mofro with some swanky aluminum siding? How about you stop buying corn syrup filled sodas (or pop, depending on where you live) in plastic bottles and buy more of that stuff in cans? You know, studies have shown that all the companies who make plastic drink bottles give half their profits to the church of Satan and to the Communist party. It's true.

You can also buy more aluminum foil. I bet you all forgot how versatile aluminum foil was didn't you? Well, here's some tips on where you can use more foil in your lives:
That table setting would be plain, dull, ordinary, and plain old ugly without our foil. Martha Stewart loves our foil, so should you.
If every ironing board in America alone was covered in foil we'd be rolling dough. So get to it America, and you too Canada and Mexico! Foil wrap your ironing boards. We mean it.
And finally, no bedroom or nursery is complete with out foil. You could use it on your pillow cases, your kid's cribs, and you could even use it for a condom in a pinch!

Seriously though, we need you all to buy more aluminum products ASAP. We're asking nicely this time. Next time we won't be so nice. And if you think we're playing around here, we're not. We're totally ready to get medieval on your asses. Also, if you don't start buying more of our stuff we'll also send this guy over to your place
and he'll tell you all about his wonderful model train collection.

Now, get off those asses and go shopping.

Do it.

Do it.

Do it.

Sincerely,
The Aluminum Council of America