Our School

Our school is a very big building out on Route 4 past the trailer park and it's right next to the dumpsters that are always on fire. And all kinds of people go there, even people who start sentences with the word 'and.'

Most of the people who go to our school take a bath or a shower before coming to school. But not the Lingerfelt brothers.
They are very poor and they have no inside bathroom, so they wash up in the puddle outside. No one says anything about it to them because if you do they will kick your ass into next week. They are some mean little mother fuckers, those Lingerfelt boys.

Some of us walk to school. Those of us who do get to pass by the crossing guard lady who smells like Scotch, sour flop sweat, and failure. We like her very much except when she forgets to take her pills.

Some of us who don't walk to school take the bus.
And some of us have gotten into cars with older men with German accents who promised to take us to school. Although only a few of us who did that and survived were still 'normal' when he finally dropped us off at our school.
Black kids go to our school.
So do white kids.
As well as freckle faced kids who get spooked easily. By the way he acted during the last field trip, you'd think that this kid hadn't seen ritual Satanic cattle mutilation before or something.
Blind kids go to our school too. They love to feel things like this globe and the inside of Mr. Henderson's pants pockets.
Some old people work at our school. They smell like mothballs and cancer.
Our school librarian is nice but we all worry about her fashion sense.
We get lunch every day at our school. Our lunch usually consists of whatever small woodland animals the lunch lady can trap, strangle, and fit between two slices of white bread that's been slathered with Murkle Wip. (Murkle Wip is the knock off brand of Miracle Whip and our school buys by the pallet from Big Lots. They also buy a lot of salt peter from there too.)
We have male teachers at our school.Women teachers too.
And for the first time this year they let a Presbyterian person teach in our school. Boy, what's next? A Unitarian? Hahahaha, that's a joke, our school board would never let a Unitarian teach in our school!
We learn math, science, and reading in our school. And we also learned how to make hash brownies that only the grown ups get to eat.
After our teacher has a few brownies she gets really mellow and all touchy feely, but not in a Mackenzie Phillips's daddy sort of way. So we got that going for us. After a long day of learning and inhaling the fumes from the burning dumpsters we're all glad to hear the last bell of the day ring because then it's time to go home. Usually only one or two kids get trampled pretty badly in the rush to leave our school, but most of the time, it's the weak ones so no one cares much.

I hope you enjoyed your visit to our school.