Saving kids, one book at a time

I bought a bunch of kid's books at a friends of a local library sale today. Some of them are bizarre picture books, some are artsy picture books, and some of them, well, let's just say it was a good thing I bought them before they landed in the wrong little hands. Here's a smattering of some of the more subversive ones:
In case you can't read the title of that book it's Menstruation and it was written by a dude. That's right, a dude. I wonder how many times he rode his menstrual cycle.

Funny, you never see books celebrating the fact that Mommy and Daddy stay together in a marriage for the sake of their ungrateful brats who'll dump them in a shoddy nursing home the first chance they get.

Another example of the sick twisted effort to taint our American minds with the filth that is the metric system. Thank Jeebus that the fluoride in our water and the ink we absorbed through the lining of our anuses from the colored toilet paper President Reagan made us use kept our resolve strong and we were able to reject the attempt to make us adopt that socialistic European measurement system. We dodged a huge bullet on that one, no thanks to people like Jimmy Carter, Tom Brokaw, and Joyce DeWitt.

Sure, the above book looks cute and fun but it's yet another attempt to tempt our children into an alternative sexual lifestyle. Bestiality Avenue is a dead end street, so stay away from the off ramp that leads to it.

And finally, when will the Amazon lesbians in the media stop trying turning our girls into men? Young ladies don't need to fight, they need to learn how to snag jobs and pay bunches of money in Social Security taxes so the Social Security Administration will stay solvent long enough for us old geezers to keep collecting it until we die.

It's a damn good thing I'm looking out for your kids and working to keep them from seeing this propaganda. Otherwise they'd be all full of fancy book learnin' nonsense and they'd start spouting off that evolution stuff and shit.