Finger pulling through the ages

The dawn of man:
"Ugh, mastodon burger not agree with me. Me have bad gas. Pull me's finger."
"Oh why did I ever crawl out of the primordial muck and evolve with you? You're an idiot."
"Screw you then, me get sabre tooth tiger over there to pull finger instead."
"Have at it genius."

Ancient Greece:

"Forsooth! Be you an honest man? Whilst thou pull my finger so that I may alleviate the gas and bloat that the gyro I had for lunch hath wrought upon my stomach?"
"Thou's humors needest to be bled."
"Thou may be correct."
"How much longer do we need to talk using this Elizabethan vernacular?"
"Not much longer, just until the knaves who read this silly blog scroll past this part of this stupid post."

The dawn of the atomic age:
"One day I'm eating bananas in the savanna and the next some dude in a lab coat tosses me in a sack and I end up on a space ship? Holy shit, what's up with that? I wish that Goodall babe was here with me. I'd pull her finger if you know what I mean. Hubba hubba!"