Since yesterday was the National Day of Prayer I decided to pray to Jesus and ask for some things. Here's what I asked for:
- An end to the wars of terror on Iraq and Afghanistan.
- An end to the war on drugs (not because I use recreational drugs anymore, because the war on drugs has been a joke and it's costing us billions of dollars in wasteful imprisonment).
- Bush and Cheney to be arrested for their crimes against humanity.
- Waterboarding for all right wing, and some left wing pundits (I'm looking at you James Carville).
- Raises for good teachers and the leaving behind of No Child Left Behind.
- The smiting of all phony religious "leaders" like Pat Robertson and the farting preacher.
- An end to all disfiguring diseases.
- An end to all childhood cancers.
- An end to the careers of Adam Sandler, Sarah Jessica Parker, and anyone with the last name of Lohan.
I didn't get a damned thing I asked for though. Maybe my alleged Lord and Saviour had a pressing appointment to show up in some one's burrito or maybe he was restoring Bristol Palin's hymen, but for whatever reason he ignored my prayers again this year. 
6 comments:
I think he likes Lindsay Lohan, so you were screwed from the start.
Could you also ask the lord to deliver us from the Spears family?
If you pray to Jesus and don't believe in Jesus, shouldn't you just as soon pray to a flying pig and hope for the same results?
Don't get me wrong, I believe in God but don't consider myself much of a Christian. Buy I do pray and from what I know of prayer, results usually do not come overnight.
Many of your prayers are highly worthwhile. Keep at it, what can it hurt?
Dr Monkey you is one crazy bastard...and I wouldn't have it any other way. Could we waterboard Bristol Palin's hymen while were at the wishing well?
I love this post! May I send folks here to read this and other entertaining bits?
I'm new here. What exactly is a Crunky? And how might someone get to hold it?
Seriously,(if this is allowed), the word prayer does have different meaning to different people. Red flags do pop up when words like pray, spirit, god are mentioned, but they don't mean the same to all. I use them, but then again, I share many of the ideas about said jesus mentioned here.
Good work!
You are one crazy Ho. If you like farting preachers and the like, you'll probably like this site:
Truth About Pastor Scott
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