My evening with Al

I and about 1500 others spent a few stolen moments with former Vice President Al Gore last night. He was the featured speaker for the 27th annual John P. Lamb Jr. Memorial Public Health Lecture, and no, I have no idea who the hell John P. Lamb Jr. was. Since this event is sponsored by the ETSU college of public health the theme of the lecture was 'Health Threats and the Climate Crisis.'

After the dean of the school of public health acknowledged about half the people in the crowd for one thing or another he introduced some skinny nervous girl who introduced Al. The girl proceeded to walk stiffly to the podium and she stiffly read her 3 x 5 card that had all her intro information on it. After welcoming us she then said that the former Vice President needed no introduction, and then the poor thing proceeded to give him one anyway. (Note to future introducers, if you say someone one needs no introduction, don't fecking give them one!) Finally she said those magic words, "Ladies and gentlemen, former Vice President Al Gore!"

We, of course, gave him a standing ovation and he drank it up graciously. Al looks good these days. He's lost all that inconvenient weight and he's sporting a decent hair cut for a change. He exudes confidence and intelligence. And the man knows how to get a crowd hooked. He started his lecture off by telling a few self deprecating stories about his life right after having the 2000 election stolen from him and honestly, he doesn't appear to be a bit bitter about it. The reason I think that is, is because he is doing and has done for the past 8 years far more important work than being President ever could be. He knows his legacy will be far more positive and lasting than that of the lying murdering thieving son of a bitch who stole the election from him in 2000. I'll go to my grave regretting voting for Ralph Nader and not Gore in the 2000 election. I'm sorry Al, I hope you forgive me.

Gore's talk was exactly as billed, it was about the public health threats we face due to the man made climate crisis we are facing. He spoke at length, though not at too much of a length, about the various problems that are cropping up as our planet heats up. You're familiar with the usual ones like deaths due to heat waves, droughts, flooding, and the like. But then he got into some of the other things that we're going to face such as increased malaria and other insect borne diseases. He pointed out that four factors prevent the spread of some insect and germ related diseases and those factors are: colder winters, colder nights, stable temps, and a food system that is rich in bio diversity. Then he added that as the temperatures rise all those four factors will be impacted negatively, for instance cities in Africa that were built above the mosquito lines are now seeing infestations of mosquito's and doctors in Canada who never saw any tick related diseases are now being inundated with them. People like that idiot Congress woman Michelle Bachman (R MN) and her intellectual twin in the US Senate James Inhofe (R OK) can say that the climate crisis is not happening or that man is not causing it but the facts, especially those pointed out by Gore in last night's lecture, prove them wrong.

He ended last night's talk with a plea to all of us to do our parts to end the climate crisis and to do something to convince our elected leaders to get off their asses, my words not his, and do something positive to end the this mess we're in. And because I'm such a nice guy, I decided to heed his words, so I'll be badgering the idiots who claim to represent me in Washington DC. And I'm offering you this list of things you can do to help end the climate crisis:

• Use compact fluorescent light bulbs in your homes.
• Use public transportation, a bike, or walk instead of driving your car or truck.
• Plant something. Ideally a tree but even flowers and other plants help.
• Plant a garden and don't use any pesticides, herbicides, or fungicides in it.
• Stop eating so many products that contain High Fructose Corn Syrup. Corn farming in this country is killing not only farm land and the rivers and oceans with all the petro chemicals used in it, it's making us fatter as a nation. Read food and drink labels and stop ingesting so much HFCS.
• Stop shopping at places that refuse to join the battle against climate change. The single biggest opponent to fighting the man made climate crisis is corporate America. Stop assisting them by giving them your dollars. Shop locally owned businesses instead.

All in all it was a very informative lecture and I'm glad I went.