New Zealand was discovered in 1952 by a couple of Australians
who were out boating while drunk. Initially they decided to call this magical new country they discovered 'Laurie' but when they sobered up they decided against it.There is only one known map of New Zealand and here it is:
Here's some quick facts about New Zealand: The musical comedy duo Flight of the Conchords
is from New Zealand and even they they don't look like it when they tour, they are actually a couple of older women.
There are more sheep than Jehovah's Witnesses in New Zealand, so consequently the odds are very high that somewhere a group of lambs is knocking on doors down under and handing out copies of The Watchtower.
Speaking of sheep, sheep shearing is an aphrodisiac in New Zealand.
Parts of New Zealand must remain black and white forever due to certain international treaty obligations. 
New Zealand leads the world in steam production but since they are so isolated only Australia takes advantage of it.
Agriculture is fairly modernized in New Zealand despite the fact that giant lizards
still roam much of the country.Wisely New Zealanders nicknamed themselves after their number one national bird, the Kiwi.
If they had nick named themselves after the country's number two bird they'd be called
Blue Shitheads.
Did I mention that New Zealand leads the world in manufacturing steam? Oh. Ok. So I did. Right then...........Oh hang on, I nearly forgot, the Lord of the Rings movies were shot in New Zealand! And a lot of the post production work was done at director Peter Jackson's state of the art film studio Weta:
This boat auditioned
for the movies but Jackson decided to cast Cate Blanchett instead. C'est la vie.Well, that wraps up this episode of 'Let's Learn About...' for today. Please feel free to study more about this fascinating little country on your own and you school kids out there you may use all the facts in this post in your term papers about New Zealand and don't worry if someone challenges you on their veracity, you just dig in and tell them you learned them from your old pal Dr. Monkey and he'd never ever steer you wrong!
17 comments:
Wow! Who knew I could learn so much from a Monkey!?
I feel so much smarter today - now that I have had my geography class. Thanks a million. Damn, then who are the Blue Shitheads - I know I've heard of them before???
I was going to say I hope some school kid is assigned to write about New Zealand and copies your post word for word and turns it in, but you kinda covered that in your last paragraph.
My IQ just shot up 20pts! Thanks Dr. Monkey! That was very informative. I'm ready for JEOPARDY now.
I've always believed Monkey Muck should be required reading for everyone. This just proves why.
Also, New Zealand dudes aren't as hot as Australian dudes, in general.
I just ran out of steam, so I'm flying down to NZ right now and get some.
You are really such an educator at heart, Monkey! :-)
Laurie? No, the Aussies first called New Zealand, Bruce. It's a true fact.
Is there an Old Zealand or just plain old regular Zealand?
XUP-The first rule of comedy is to agree and add. Denial is not funny and it just makes your comment look mean.
Hiking the Milford Sound Trek is one of my dreams, blue shitheads or not.
fascinating Monkey
What are you, D-Cap?
When I think of New Zealand, I think of Australia. Same basic accent, same drunks and same outback jibber jabber.
And you can't even buy your own koala bear.
Flight of the Conchords sure do clean up nice for tv though, don't they?
Hey, those Blue Shitheads are my friends!
Last spring, my daughter's middle school was having "Olympics", and groups of kids were assigned to make banners for different countries. Grace's group was Australia. All the other kids wanted to put a kiwi on their banner. Grace said, "No, kiwis are from New Zealand, not Australia." The kids argued with her, Grace insisted, and they finally said, "FINE! We won't use a kiwi, but you don't get to make any other decisions about this banner because you were a baby and got your way!" She was upset. I called her teacher, who said, "Well kiwis COULD be from Australia; it's close to New Zealand." Yeah, like really close; just a hop, skip and jump across some ocean! And it's not like Australia doesn't have interesting animals in its own right!
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