Monday, February 23, 2009

Suck it Lou Dobbs

Random thoughts on last night's Oscars:

  • You just know Lou Dobbs was hatin' on the whole thing what with Penelope Cruz winning and all those awards going to a film that featured so many brown skinned people.
  • I'm not sure who wore the dress I hated more. Was it Reese Witherspoon, Queen Latifah, Miley Ray Cyrus, or Jessica Biels? I can tell you that I laughed out loud when I saw what Jessica Biels had on. Seriously, it looked like the top of her dress vomited up that sash thingy.

  • I'm glad Milk won some Oscars.

  • Worst monatge of the dead ever. Shitty camera angles and the swooping back and forth between Queen Latifah and the pictures of the deceased really sucked ass. It was disrespectful to all involved.

  • The right wingers hate it but Sean Penn is best actor of my generation. He'll probably win another Oscar before it's all said and done.
  • When will Meryl Streep ever age? She's looked fantastic since 1979.

  • I'm happy Kate Winslett won. She's deserved an Oscar for many years now. She's a damn fine actor.

  • Danny Boyle looks like he just got out of hospital after having had a lobotomy.

  • John Legend is a stand up guy for filling in for Peter Gabriel in the 'Best Song' medley. Gabriel backed out in a snit when he found out he was only going to sing part of his nominated song. I'm glad the song from Slumdog won.

  • Thank gawd that the President of the MPAA didn't make his usual snooze fest speech.

  • I had huge reservations about Hugh Jackman hosting but it turns out he did a damn fine job.

  • How long is Beyonce going to ride At Last?

  • Does Sophia Loren wear the same dress to the Oscars every year now?

  • I'm officially over Jack Black. Dude, would it fucking kill you to shave for the fucking Oscars? And what was up with your wife's dress? I took one look at what she was wearing and I thought, "Somewhere there is a VW bug with out it's seat covers."

  • Hey Phillip Seymour Hoffman, do you have ring worm? Is that why you wore that stupid skull cap during the show? If it's just hat wearing your into next year wear a trucker cap and then the next year you should wear a toboggan with a poof ball on it. Or hey, I know, wear your wife like a hat! Yeah, I'd pay money to see that man.

  • Ben Stiller, please stop making shitty remakes and do more comedy like you did in last night's show.

  • I'm shocked the show was over before 2:30 AM eastern time. Way to go Oscar people.

  • Yes Robin Roberts, hosting the Oscar pre show is your reward for beating breast cancer.

  • Was I the only person who didn't know that Benny Hill is Kate Winslet's dad?

  • What the hell was Miley Ray Cyrus doing at the Oscars anyway?

  • It's official, Bill Maher is the biggest douche bag that ever walked the earth. Before telling us who the Ocsar for best documentary he had the gall to plug his own film which didn't get nominated. Yo, Bill, way to ensure you never ever get nominated. Stay douchey Billy boy.

  • Seriously, how great did Meryl Streep look? She was waaaaaay hotter than her stick figure daughter. Yo, Meryl, grr baby, grrr.

  • Tilda Swinton still scares the beejeebus out of me.

  • I'm looking forward to seeing most all of the nominated films when they hit DVD.

22 comments:

Little Merry Sunshine said...

Yes, Tilda Swinton scares me too. And Miley Cyrus . . . I don't understand her either.

Mnmom said...

I'll have my opinions of Oscar up soon. Yours are perfect!! The death montage was horrible! I couldn't read the names and started getting dizzy.
Meryl Streep would swing me over to the other team.
Sophia? I think she did, and I don't think she washed it. It still had foundation smears on it from 2001.
PSH's hat was rude.

John said...

Great take on the Oscars! I agree with all of it and will add:

What happened to once beautiful and volumptuous Sofia Loren (now has Alien Face and no curves)?

Another Alien Face OMG was once abudcted by aliens--Shirley Maclaine...some recent bad facelifts! Some Dr. needs punished!

And Mickey Rourke, well his bad face lift is old news.

Meryl Streep, ah one of my all time favorite actresses, yes she looked great and I don't think she has had plastic surgery either...good for her, aging gracefully.

Tilda Swinton scared me too with that toga LOL, and I think maybe she has been embalmed.

And yes Botox Bill (Maher) had to show his ass there, because they could not find enough people to present the awards...serious, I read that the other day.

Yeah poor Lou Dobbs, who never smiles is probably pissed to see so many brown skinned winners. Too bad! I was thrilled to see Penelope Cruz win her award and can't wait now to see Vicky Cristina Barcelona! And I was happy to see Slumdog Millionaire win so many awards.

(And thrilled that Milk won several awards).

Kate Winslet asking her Dad to whistle was priceless and I loved her speech.

I have to admit I teared up, when Sean Penn won best actor! It was a nice surprise (sorry Mickey).

Dick Tremayne said...

Dude.. I'm pretty sure that was Hannah Montana.

Gifted Typist said...

Thanks for that. I watched most of it but now I feel as though I watched it with Monkey

pissed off patricia said...

I didn't watch any of it. Does that mean the terrorist win?

Mauigirl said...

I didn't watch it, so thanks for summing it up. And you are not alone - I had no idea Kate Winslet's father is Benny Hill.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Mauigirl-He's not really her dad. Her dad just looks like the late Benny Hill that's all.

Pyzahn said...

Fabulous synopsis.

I liked the format for presenting the acting awards, with five past winners acknowledging the nominees. Most of them seemed very natural and less scripted.

Don't get me started on Miley.

Yay to Sean Penn for having a sense of humor and a soul.

Boo to Bill Maher for being a 'roid on the butt of humanity.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Excellent review, except I like Bill Mahar.
And Miley Cyrus can suck it.

Nan said...

What happened to Sophia Loren, John asks? She got old. It happens. All things considered (like her actual age of 74) she's still looking pretty good, recycled gown and all.

Bill Maher has always been way too full of himself.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Nan-I know Sophia got old. But that doesn't mean she has to wear the same gown every year. She's loaded, she can afford a new gown.

kenju said...

"Does Sophia Loren wear the same dress to the Oscars every year now?"

That made me laugh. Her dress was more befitting to someone in her twenties (who wouldn't be caught dead wearing that).

Benny Hill? Are you sure?

Meryl Streep is just classy. That's all there is to it. and Tilda - she's really scary. What the hell was she wearing? A dentist's smock?

Ubermilf said...

I didn't watch it, and I'm glad you clarified that Kate Winslet's dad is NOT Benny Hill, but only looks like him.

Because I would've quoted you as fact, and I would've looked really stupid.

Unknown said...

Why the Bill Maher hatin'? His show is great & I agree with him on most subjects. Being a douche is just part of his whole schtick.

- Spooney

MommyLisa said...

I was laughing - that Tilda chick is SCARY. I kind of liked Sean Penn winning, his opening line was awesome! I am so over Penolpe Cruz though.
Queen Latifah sang beautifully and they should have just shown the montage and let us hear her voice instead of all that weird camera angle stuff.
But the Slumdog song, seriously? There were not any better songs???

Blueberry said...

The only thing I disrespect about Bill Maher is that I heard he used to date Ann Coulter, and I don't even care if they were "just friends." Sweet Jeebus. I'd like to see Religulous (is that the name of it?).

That white sash dress - that is just weird.

I have a toboggan with a poof ball on it. It looks pretty danged funny.

Hugh Jackman did a good job, and I loved listening to his real accent instead of his fake American one.

K.Line said...

I think I actually agree with every single last point you've made here. Amazing!

Missy said...

Am I the only one who noticed that Goldie Hawn shrunk her dress in the wash?

Anonymous said...

Personally, I find Tilda Swinton oddly attractive, but even I know someone that white should never, ever wear a light biege. And with a long black skirt? What was she thinking?

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Spooney-I'm just exercising my right to free speech my man. We can all get along even if we all don't like Bill Maher the same amount. And thanks for stopping by my man. Give your gf a kiss from me please.

Unknown said...

Now wait a minute, Bill Maher is on our side (correct me if I am wrong) Few have the balls to buck the religious quacks--his movie Religoulous should have a larger audience (which he was aiming for by plugging it at the oscars). Bulls Eye!