Sunday, January 4, 2009

Things we need less of in 2009

  1. Political pundits
  2. Pat Buchanan and his sister Bay
  3. Anyone with the last name of Spears
  4. People who don't know how to use a turn lane
  5. People who don't stop at stop signs when making right hand turns
  6. Remakes of movies
  7. Fred Thompson
  8. Body fat
  9. New church construction
  10. Corporate greed
  11. White folks hatin' on brown skinned folks
  12. Animal fat in our diets
  13. Anything Monsanto makes
  14. Hypocrisy
  15. Intelligent design
  16. Creationism
  17. Allowing Israel to murder Palestinians
  18. Weird smells in the grocery store
  19. Adam Sandler movies
  20. People who get all up in yo bizness
  21. Hemorrhoids
  22. Snotty young store clerks who don't realize customers pay their fucking salary
  23. Spoiled dairy products
  24. Expensive beer
  25. Beatings about the head and neck that cause brain damage
  26. Afrikaner accents
  27. The slow march to stupidity
  28. Anyone who still believes Madonna is actually still a sex symbol
  29. Madonna
  30. Kids with odd names and the parents who give them odd names
  31. People who play cards slowly on Yahoo
  32. The obvious anti Obama bias of the Associated Press
  33. Greenhouse gasses
  34. The high keening sound in our heads that we get after being beat about the head and neck
  35. People who think Harley Davidson's are cool
  36. Drifters who give us the evil eye
  37. Unrecognized geniuses
  38. Journeyman utility infielders who can't hit above .200
  39. Mutant insects
  40. Chick tracts
  41. Being drawn and quartered
  42. Poodles
  43. People named Bush in any governmental office
  44. Russell Brand
  45. Dane Cook
  46. FOX "News"
  47. Anyone who says something is "fierce"
  48. That red head chick who came in second on the first Top Chef
  49. Faux hawks
  50. Asswipes who makes lists of things we need less of in 2009

16 comments:

David said...

Wonderful stuff. There is probably 946 more that I could think of, right off the top of my pea side brained melon.
But I would put in your top 50, "Bloggers that go by (insert name of large metropolitan center here) bitches." As a matter of fact, the world can use a lot less bitches no matter where you hail from. OK the name was funny for about 3 seconds back in 2006 when you all thought "how original" and named your blog "(insert name of major metropolitan centre here) bitches"
We all said, cute and moved on. Y'all still thinking that bitches is cute or funny.
Move on.
Bitches not funny anymore

K.Line said...

Very comprehensive list!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

We need more Monkey though. Definitely need more Monkey.

BeckEye said...

This list is totally fierce.

Tanya Espanya said...

Darnit, that playa Beckeye totally took my fierce comment...

Grrr!

Blueberry said...

The poodles can stay.

Bradda said...

Number 49 needs to happen ASAP! Living in LA, I see WAAAAY too many of these on people WAAAY to old to be that "cool" anymore.

Mel said...

LOL
Thanks for the much needed laughs :)

Sparkleneely said...

Yeah, I'm with blueberry. Keep the poodles. Instead can we get rid of Lindsay Lohan?

Karen Zipdrive said...

I like the red headed chick from Top Chef. She's a bitch but it looks like the bitch can really cook.

Sherry Pasquarello said...

ann coulter, less less less!

MommyLisa said...

I agree that we get rid of Lindsay Lohan, and anyone named Lohan - AND Ann Coulter...I agree with most of this list, but Monkey ? What is wrong with Harley's???

MommyLisa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
dguzman said...

That goes double for me, yo.

ReRe said...

how could you have left off boots with fur?

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Mommy-When every asswipe accounttant and orthodontist rides a Harley then it's time to stop saying they are cool. Harleys have become props for douchebags who have more money than sense.

ReRe-My bad. We need to use zero animal fur until the end of time.