Friday, October 24, 2008

Hey you...

...yeah you.

You know who I'm talking to here. You need to calm down and quit crying.
I know you're all apprehensive and worried about the election. You think the Republicans are going to steal another one. You know what? YOU'RE WRONG. Dead wrong. You're just making shit up to worry about. People have had it with Bush and Bush McCain. They've had it with conservative misrule and greedy power mad priggish pseudo religious Republicans. The right kind of people, and by that I mean progressives, liberals, people of color, gays and lesbians, and clear thinking independents, and forward thinking Republicans are going to band together and we are going to elect our first ever black President. We're going to vote in such numbers that our votes can't be discounted or thrown out. We're voting early, by absentee ballot, by any means necessary. We're going to win. So please, I beg you to stop whining, to stop spreading discontent and negativity, and to do something positive to help us end the Republican reign of terror. Offer to drive the elderly to the polls on election day, call your friends, neighbors, and family and remind them to vote.

Seriously, you know I love you and most of the time we're on the same page on most things, but you've got to stop your fucking whining right this minute or I'll crush your head.
I am not kidding, I will crush that melon you call a head if you don't stop scaring people with your doomsday bullshit.

13 comments:

Karen said...

Ok, I'll stop whining. Now, leave my head alone.

Claire said...

You're cruel, but fair.

dguzman said...

Can I whine about the fact that PA doesn't have early voting?

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

dguzman-NO! I declare this a 'No Whine' Friday!

GETkristiLOVE said...

Whew... I thought you said 'No Wine' Friday there for a minute. 'No Whine' I can deal with.

Anonymous said...

I'm not whining. I'm 'wining'. Well, not yet, it's only 10:20 a.m. But gimme 7 hours or so.......

Ubermilf said...

You're right. The most they can do by cheating is reduce the margin by which they lose to make themselves feel better.

Johnny Yen said...

I agree with you. I've heard so many people complain that the election is going to be stolen. Not on my watch.

Dean Wormer said...

My heads shaped more like a pear, but other than that I hear you.

Blueberry said...

I am going to the corner to sit quietly and have a timeout. {sniff}

Cormac Brown said...

You are right sir and there is a reason why everyone's view is so askew. It isn't that the glass is half-empty, it is the fact that McPain pissed in it and tried to blame it on "that one."

Suzy said...

I had an angst-filled evening over this last night, but I can only do what I can do. If they really are secretly conspiring to steal the election by disenfranchising voters in Ohio or elsewhere, I have little control over that. So thanks for the good talking to.

Distributorcap said...

i knew you would cheer me up