Boob Tube Blather

• I might try but I don't think I could despise Nancy Grace any more than I do right this second. I'm hoping against hope that they sterilized her when she gave birth to the anti-Christ a few months ago.


• That blonde woman on Show Biz Tonight is running a close second to Nancy Grace in my despise-a-thon.


• I could not be more pleased that Rachel Maddow's show is kicking major ass. Go Rachel! I always knew that there was room for and that people would flock to a show that was hosted by a smart funny progressive female. Now if only the idiots who run the free networks would give a late night talk show to someone like Amy Sedaris or Sarah Vowell, then we'd be cooking with gas.


• I love Lost waaaaay more than I should but seriously people, is there a TV network that didn't pick it up as soon as it hit syndication?


• Remember the good old days when Spike TV used to show back to back to back to back episodes of MXC instead of those skeevy UFC shows? I'd rather see Japanese people get whacked on their heads by cartoonishly oversized things and fall off of stuff than see a couple of trailer park rejects battle it out for meth money.


• Note to ESPN: it may be wrong of me to wish that Stu Scott and Chris Berman get stuck in solitary confinement in a Turkish prison for the next 20 years but I still wish it just the same.


• Miley Cyrus makes my ears hurt, my eyes bleed, and she makes the baby Jesus projectile vomit. Oh and is she still dating her dad or what?


• Attention Fox network, Gordon Ramsay isn't the huge asshole you desperately want to make him out to be. I've seen his shows on BBC America and yes, he says "fuck" a lot but he's actually pretty engaging and watchable on his own.


• Hey Little Britain guys, I'm really looking forward to Little Britain USA despite the fact that you're letting that awful 'Emily the rubbish transvestite' live on. That character stopped being funny after series one. Bring back the Scottish inn keeper who played the flute and please kill off Emily.


• Here's my idea to revive Saturday Night Live, make it a fifteen minute show. Just do the opening sketch and forget the rest because the rest of the show sucks, especially Seth Myers.


• One day in the not too distant future Paula Deen will have to trap, skin, and cook Aretha Franklin in order to keep her side of the pact that she made with Satan to be on TV for so long. Trust me, when it happens, it'll be a mercy killing.


• Why can't we have more talk shoes like the Graham Norton Show?


• And finally, are the people who were behind The Kumars at #42 and all those Alan Partridge shows busy doing any shows now? Because if they aren't then they need to be.