Saturday, December 29, 2007

In the new year you can...

...become cleaner and drier!


...get a new job!

...get bigger boobs!


...become a song writer!
Or you could just stay the same old you that we all know and love.

12 comments:

Barbara Bruederlin said...

At last! That motel housekeeping job I have always dreamed of! Thank you, Dr M! Thank you!

Fran said...

The thought of towels - all 50 of them, made of unwoven cotton and rayon leaves me moist! (stop it filth mind!)

And once I am clean and dry (and sober) I can go to hotel-motel-holiday inn school and get a job.

When I get a job I can not only buy another 50 towels, but I can enlarge my bust.

And then I can get published, knowing full well that my bizarre obsession with Liberace would eventually pay off sometime.

Thanks Monkey! (go say hi to matty boy on his birthday, she says in a non-sequitir moment and a bossy one as well.)

Anonymous said...

Unwoven cotton and rayon towels? What is that, like a big pile of string you have to weave yourself?

Anonymous said...

Okay, I want to know if that bosom builder will actually firm up my already tooooooo large breasts.

Randal Graves said...

Or, Fran, you can have large, clean breasts, THEN get the motel job, cleaning the rooms of Liberace and his entourage! No need to send him your song lyrics!

Crayons said...

I slapped my knee, I was laughing so hard. These are so convincing, and I really love the layout and font mix.

I remember the sea monkey advertisement in the back of... maybe "Mad" magazine? I guess these are the parallel ads for adults.

Ubermilf said...

Happy New Year if I don't see you before next week.

Blueberry said...

Each towel measures one square inch, they left out that part. Just enough to turn around and sell them as a bra padding for $2, so there's your sure-fire money making scheme.

Distributorcap said...

i need towels!
the ones i keep stealing from the gym are not that good

Dr. Zaius said...

Information about motel careers? And it's FREE?

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Barb-Let me know how many "exciting people" you meet in your new job. :)

Fran-I'm so glad I could be here for you.

Kirby-Nobody ever said mail order offers were easy.

D Cup-If you get that and use it be sure totake photos for me. I promise not too many of them would end up online. :)

Randal-Let Fran be Fran, leave her alone you brute.

Crayons-I've got a half page sea monkey ad I'm going to run on Monkey-Scan soon.

UberMILF-Happy new year to you too!

Blueberry-No wonder you're in MENSA.

Dcap-But those gym towels come pre germed and you know how you love that.

Dr. Zaius-Nirvana isn't it?

Micgar said...

Ha ha The towel company was actually called "50 Towel Co." (!)