Tuesday, November 6, 2007

It's certainly not me so it must be you

As you may have guessed by looking at my blog roll in addition to blogging obsessively, I also read a lot of blogs. I enjoy each and every one of you fine people on my roll and I love it that not all of you write about the same things that I do. I love reading the great posts from such a wide and diverse group of people.

One of the phenomena of my blog roll is that I have blogs written by spouses, cases in point Suzy, the Wisconsin Quaker Vixen, and her husband, the rock and roller, Ed, and Kim, aka A Sunny Thought and her husband Johnny Yen, and last but not least D Cup and her hubby Mathman. I love reading all those blogs because it never ceases to amaze me how people who are married can be so different and yet so alike.

In addition to Mathman I also read Freida Bee's and Matty Boy's blogs. The lovely Ms. Bee is a math teacher to be and Matty and Mathman are already math teachers. All three of them have such an enthusiasm for math that is infectious and which I find strange because I am not a "math person." I always had a hard time understanding advanced math concepts and since I went to academically suspect schools in Detroit and in Virginia I never really got the math help I needed. In fact some of my worst experiences in education occurred in math class. More specifically in this woman's math class:

This is Minerva Watson and she taught algebra, algebra 2, and calculus at Jonesville High School in Jonesville, VA. I had planned all along to go to college after high school because that's what was expected of me and because I believed that if I did not then I would be working at a car wash for the rest of my life. Yes, the theme to Car Wash was catchy, but it did not look like a career option that held much promise for me. So I took what were called "college prep classes" in high school, which were as I remember from those long gone days, a couple years of French, biology and chemistry, some assorted English classes, and advanced math classes, which included algebra 1 and 2 and geometry.

I did pretty well in geometry because I could visualize the shapes and and theories in my young mind. And the teacher, Mrs. Harris, was a decent teacher. She was genuinely concerned about her students and she wanted us to learn. She also had a tendency to stray off into other areas like current events and town gossip during class so her class was always fun because you never knew what she was going to do next.

The other courses however were a nightmare for me. Where Mrs. Harris was warm and engaging, Mrs. Watson was cold and off putting. She was a scary woman who seemed to hate all of us and I in turn hated her right back. I used to imagine the look of horror that her husband must have had on his face when she got "in the mood." The thought of her making the beast with two backs with any human being still grosses me out.

Ol' Minerva's style of teaching consisted of standing at the black board and spewing out that day's lesson in a boring monotone voice. She would hardly ever deign to answer our questions and she would get steamed if anyone, usually me, persisted in asking questions. Her already tight face would tighten into a grimace of death and her beady eyes would lock on whoever had displeased her and she would grimly stare the question asking offender down until they shut their mouth. I was not down with that style of teaching. I learned virtually nothing in algebra 1 and yet I stupidly listened to my idiot of a guidance counselor the next year and I signed up for algebra 2.

If the first year of algebra was hell then the second was hell squared, cubed even. The text book was thicker, the lessons harder, and so of course Minerva just picked up the pace and she went through the lessons faster. By half way through the year I was hopelessly lost. I had no idea what the hell was going on and my grades reflected it. But since I was just a smart ass high school student and not a math "teacher" with years of experience behind her, it was obviously my fault that I did not understand all that a+b=xyz crap. Oh no, the fact that she could not teach her way out of a paper bag was never brought up when I was forced out of her class one day and told to report to the guidance counselor's office.


When I got to his office I was told that the school was concerned about my lack of progress in her class and that I probably had some kind of learning disability, which meant in those days you were an idiot and they were basically going to measure you for your car wash jumpsuit right then and there. Mr. Scott, the guidance counselor, told me I was going to spend the afternoon in his office taking basic intelligence, vocabulary, and math tests. The implication was that I was an idiot and these tests were going to prove it and then they'd just toss me into the class with the slow kids and they'd be done with me. I remember having a burning hatred for that bitch Mrs. Watson and for the idiot of a guidance counselor who both thought that I was a fucking idiot because my algebra 2 grade was so bad.

I sat there taking those tests knowing that I was going to score off the charts compared to the scores they usually saw on those things. As he tallied up my scores Mr. Scott grew wide eyed. When he told me that I scored higher than he'd ever seen a problem student score, I wanted to remind him I made good grades in all my other classes but I kept my mouth shut because if I did not then I was going to cuss him out. He asked me what the problem was with me and algebra 2 and I flat out told him that Mrs. Watson was not a good teacher and that she rarely allowed anyone to ask questions and when she did allow questions, she never explained her answers so that I could understand them.

I must have hit a nerve with my criticism or they maybe just wanted me to shut up because for the rest of the year she allowed me to pretty much sit in the back of her class and sleep and or read books, I remember reading The World According to Garp and Good as Gold in her class while she droned on. I would just sign my name on tests and she'd give me a "C." I think I must have danced a jig when I finally got out of her class at the end of the year.

Unfortunately for me, her passing me just to be rid of me did me no favors in college where I looked like an idiot in freshman, or as it was called then, "Bonehead" math. I made a "D" in that class but thankfully it was the only one I needed to get my history degree.


As I've aged, hopefully like a fine wine, I've come to appreciate math more and more. And while I may never understand why the hell a+b=c, I can appreciate the role math plays in my life and in the history of the world. And you know what, I don't feel a bit bad about bad mouthing an old teacher because she was truly awful and she's probably dead by now anyway. But if by some chance that you're not dead Mrs. Watson and you stumble across this post one day, you sucked as a teacher and I should have raised more of a fuss about how awful you were.


I wished I had had a dedicated enthusiastic teacher like Mathman or Matty Boy or Freida Bee, who knows, if I had had one of them as a teacher then I might have won that Nobel Prize by now.

18 comments:

Distributorcap said...

i dont know if i would have made it to college with Minerva as my teacher

tho have Mr Krimmel for calculus was a major challenge...

now you inspired me to do a math post

Fran said...

First of all- I almost drowned my keyboard with coffee when I got to the beast with two backs line. You so funny Monkey.

However, this was an overall serious and so beautifully written post. Honestly I love your writing, it is so evocative and compelling. It seems that I am with you as you speak of the chapters of your life. And I love it.

Isn't it a shame about the bad teachers? While I do read Matty, Mathman and Freida Bee, I don't know if I have said this to anyone but Matty... However I have said this to him more than once - if I had had him as a "maths" teacher ( a little 'Lotsaplainin' inside humor), how differently things would have worked out.

So today, mid century mark approaching, I am still weak with the numbers. Oddly enough, I have worked for a statistical company for most of my adult life. Don't worry- no one used my numbers for anything.

FranIam has different skills... she can sell, she can train clients, she can manage customer service like nobody's business (think NOT-Charter!),manage people with dignity (that is probably what cost me my, oh nevermind),fight back to the big suits and shirts (that is really what cost me my...) and so forth. Someone has to do that in the middle of all the addin' and subtractin' and so forth. And those goddam percentages.

Anyway, thanks for posting to honor these great bloggers and great teachers!!

Deepti said...

There's always a Nobel prize for literature! ;)

XUP said...

I loved World According to Garp; so hurrah for bad algebra if it allowed you to discover John Irving, who used to be one of my absolute favorite authors until he got all weird and full of himself.

Randal Graves said...

Absolutely wonderful post, Dr. Monkey. We've all had - hopefully - some excellent teachers, and - more likely - a good amount of bad ones. And as one gets older, one really appreciates the effort, and almost most important, the joy they brought to learning, which SHOULD be fun. My wife and I see this with our kids now. When they have a superior teacher, they love school. The other kind, not so much. Not all teachers will have the same skill, but to make learning a bit more enjoyable can help immensely.

Crayons said...

Wow, this is an eloquent post. You often cloak your convictions in dense sarcasm -- which I really enjoy -- but this one is more heartfelt.

I taught high school for five years, but the stakes were so high that I had to leave. One of my discomforts was the company in the teachers' lounge. It was even worse than the company I had in the teacher training school.

I would love to see your essay included in required reading for the people applying for certification. Keep writing! It is such a gift.

Anonymous said...

Like you, I had math teachers who were less than enthusiastic about the subject and certainly were unable to teach it to people whose minds didn't work like theirs did.

I'm a language person, but no one ever thought to teach me math as if it were another language. Had they, I might have made completely different career choices.

In fact, those what color is your parachute tests always indicated that I should be a counselor of some sort, psychologist, therapist, rabbi, minister, etc.

The thing that stopped me from pursuing a degree in psychology?

Statistics. I was convinced that it would be my undoing.

Thank goodness for MathMan who has taught me that even though math is not my first language, I can learn it.

Whiskeymarie said...

I feel the same way about various teachers throughout my elementary and high school years.
*Mr. Joslin, my 5'0" douchebag art teacher who somehow managed to suck all the fun out of ART. This guy should have been canned in the year his wardrobe seemed to have come from- 1972. Oh, and once he called me, a 10th grade girl at the time, a bitch. What kind of high school teacher does that?

*Mr. Smootz- A large, lazy man who sometimes taught entire Science classes without leaving his chair. He hated life and hated us for interrupting his daily nose pick.

Mr. B- I don't write your full name 'cause your son was a big shot hockey guy, but you shouldn't have been teaching anything- ever. And anger-management therapy would have solved many of your problems that maybe punching students couldn't.

This feels good! I could go on and on, but you get the drift.

Coming soon: Part two- the College years.

dguzman said...

Oh, Dr. Monkey--I had many math teachers similar to your Mrs. Watson: Mr. Steussey (I wrote about that jerk), Mrs. Chelinsky-Wolpin (Amazon Math Bitch from Hell), and Mrs. Womack (Her:"Anyquestions?okaylet'shaveaquiz." me: "wait! oh forget it..."). Hated 'em all. Did nothing but make me feel like an idiot. It wasn't until recently, getting yet another degree, that I have had any decent teachers. Still don't like math too much, but I'm understanding and doing well. If only I'd had a Matty or Mathman, I would've become an astronomer! Oh, the shattered dreams. I hope those people knew they were crappy teachers.

Missy said...

For some reason I thought you already had a Nobel prize....

Life As I Know It Now said...

Mr. Gothman: old as the hills and spitting on anyone unfortunate enough to be sitting in the front rows.

Mr. Ogdon: A little dumpy looking man wearing pants that were way too tight and stupid looking. Time to go to sleep.

I swear I didn't know I could even like math until I took a stats class in college. Yeah, I aced that class!

Unknown said...

Well Dr. thanks for mentioning me and my fellow math bloggers. I to had some whiz teachers myself in high school. Forntuately for me the best math teacher I had was the last one, an inspiration really.

I believe I had the same teacher you did but for Geometry and mine went by Miss Kelley. The only class I ever got kicked of during High School.

Misses Watson and Kelley goe by Old Lady Teacher at Mathman H.S. Just today, I heard that Miss Old Lady Teacher kicked up a dust storm in an emabarassing barage of complaints and jackassery in a learning session attended by guests from other schools. Yikes.

Suzy said...

Hey, thanks for the heads up about math teachers' blogs. I'll be checking them out. My most absolute favorite part of my teaching job? Teaching math to kindergartners! My school district has been developing wonderful curriculum, based on research coming out of Australia, New Zealand (of course) and the Netherlands. I don't expect that all of my students will go into math and science in college, but I want them to EXPECT math to be engaging and beautiful, and something at which they feel capable. When I move to a library, I will miss teaching math. (And I once got in trouble in 2nd grade for doodling in the margins of my math textbook.)

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Dcap-Glad I could inspire you.


Fran-Work those mad skillz girl.

Jane-Something for me to shoot for!

Urban-I know just what you mean about Irving.

Randal-Thanks.

Crayons-Thank you for your nice words about my writing.

D Cup-I'm a language person as well. And it must be nice to have your own personal math tutor who can punish you when you get a problem wrong. :)

Whiskey-Glad I could help you vent. :)

Dguz-Your post was the one that inspired me to write this one.

Missy-I had one but I lost it.

Liberality-Bad teachers are everywhere.

Mathman-Keep on teaching the right way and screw NCLB.

Suzy-I got into troble for doodling on other kids books. :)

Matthew Hubbard said...

Thanks for this post, Doc. It gives me an idea for a personal history of how I started in college as an English major.

Brian said...

Great post! I think I had that woman's evil siblings from 6th - 12th grade (with one exception).
I think it's great that you posted her name and picture. People like that will rot in hell, but, hey, why wait when you can fry 'em now?

All the best,

Brian (a.k.a. Professor Homunculus) at MathMojo.com

Freida Bee said...

Holy fuck Batman, when we were fucking, I missed this post.

We should premise my math teaching on the condition I can get hired given my blogging and blog commenting proclivities.

I'm thinking of getting my hair cut like Ms. Watson's. What do you think? It's effectiveness at weeding bright young people out of career fields involving math seems to be most effective.

I forgot to mention that tutoring grown men in math also turns me on. I'm just sayin'....

Unknown said...

Dr. Monkey,
Minerva is not dead. She is still kicking. I too had a horrible experience in her class. I hated her guts. I failed Alg. I. I retook it and Alg. II in summer school under the wonderful Mrs. Harris, plus she tutored me after school through Geometry. Unfortunately, Kathleen Harris was killed in a car accident. Minerva did set one good example for me. When I became a teacher, I vowed never to treat my students the way she treated me. I tried to have all the patience I could muster and tried to come up with every way I could to make a child understand if he/she didn't get it the first, or, second, or third time, or countless times. From what I've heard over the years, unless you were a math whiz, most everyone had a similar experience in her class as you and I did.