Hello. Please have a seat. I called you in here to tell you that while we like you as a person, we no longer need you as an employee. You have brought shame upon our fine company with your behavior. You have spent far too much time reading blogs and making jokes. Propriety prevents me from talking at length about your flatulence but know this, I urge you to use part of your severance package to stock up on some Beano. Stop crying, you knew this was coming. Please pack up your personal belongings in a box and then get out as soon as possible. To show you we are not heartless we would like to offer you one of the following parting gifts.
Good luck in whatever future endeavor you attempt and seriously, do something about the constant farting.
8 comments:
Tanaka-san insults my honor! At least I won't have to use my lunch hours looking for that damned mustache wax he likes.
By the by, how did you like the Sarah Vowell book?
Kirby-I loved the Sarah Vowell book, thanks for asking.
With my luck I will keep my job until I retire, and the hair catch-it tray (complete with company logo) will be presented to me at a cake and coffee party.
I choose the hatbrella.
And, I don't know who you think was farting, but you can bet it wasn't me.
It was Bob from accounting. Ask anyone.
Now I know what The Spawn are getting for Chanukah! I'm going with practical gifts this year.
I swear I've seen those ads in Parade magazine, maybe back in the seventies.
My mom always cut my hair when I was little, and I seem to remember her pondering whether to get that little hair-tray. Now I wish she had, so I could send it to you.
Post a Comment