Here is a list of Jews we love here at Monkey Muck HQ:
1. Katie Schwartz
2A. The pulse pounding, soul shattering, brain boggling experience that is ANGRY BALLERINA
2B. Amy Guth
3. Tony Kornheiser
4. Rhoda Morgenstern
5. Don Rickles
6. The Honey and all his issue
7. Katie Schwartz's parents
8. Hank Greenberg
9. Whoopi Goldberg
10. Joey Heatherton
11. Moshe Dyan
12. That guy who did Maus
13. Katie Schwartz's siblings
14. My first grade teacher Mrs. Weist
15. Leonard Nimoy
Here's a list of Jews I despise:
1. Joe Lieberman
2. Joe Lieberman from CT
3. Senator Joe Lieberman
4. Traitor Joe Lieberman
5. That son of a bitch Joe Lieberman
6. Killer Joe Lieberman
7. Joe "Let's invade Iran now before the Christmas rush" Lieberman
8. Joe "If you're not supporting the President in the wars of terror then you hate America" Lieberman
9. "Hey Joe where you going with that gun in your hand" Lieberman
10. Joe "I'm right and all the Americans who are not with me on Iraq are wrong" Lieberman
11. Hadsassah Lieberman's husband
12. Michael Savage
13. Joe Lieberman
14. Joe Fucking Lieberman
16 comments:
If I list the Jews I bedded, can I make the alternate list? I feel so left out ...
Feeling left out? Oy, I understand... And I personally do think that bedding Jews counts.
Despite all my lunatic Catholic rambling, my father was Jewish and I am very in touch with my Jewish self.
However, I have not been clear in sharing this yet so I can't blame the Monkey for the omission.
Maybe I should have said in my 8 Things Meme that the good dr. sent me was that I got married in a Catholic church recently, but my two rabbi cousins did the blessing (berakah) at my reception.
Shalom y'all and L'hitraot!
P.S. I am stone, cold hatin' on the Joe man and all his many incarnations. He is a piece of dreck and he should gai kachen affen yam.
For the non Jews among you I said he is a piece of sh*t and he should go sh*t in the ocean. (which for some reason is some kind of big insult!)
BTW - Maus author is Art Speigelman!
Great choices Doctor!
Oy so smart this one. And he's a doctor. You should all be so smart.
Beth-You make the next list, I promise!
Fran-I know who wrote Maus, that was part of the joke. Just like putting Whoopi and Joey on the list.
Ummm, hi, Angry Ballerina isn't on that list of Jews you like. WHY THE FUCK NOT.
Evil Spock is glad to see that Mr. Nimoy has make your list.
No William Shatner though?
Evil Spock would add Adam Sandler to the hate list too.
AB-I apologize. Do not make plans to snip my Crunky off. I have made amends and put you on the list. Now calm down and back off.
Evil Spock-Adam Sandler???? No,no, no, this was a list of Jewish people I LIKE. Not the list of the ones that make me hurl.
Oy vey. Clearly my so-called sense of irony was not operating correctly.
Either that or I was just farmisht and farblungeon, or (pardoning the bad Yid pun) just not quite observant enough.
BTW- you mean Whoopi and Joey are not in the tribe? You're killin me man.
And ahem- when you make your list of half Jews you love, please don't forget about me.
You don't like Joe?
Anti-semite.
Much better.
AB-Anything for you dear, well almost anything.
I've got a few more for the despise list...
Paul Wolfowitz, The whole Kagan cabal, Bill Kristol....I'm sensing a pattern here.
D-Cup- While I have the capacity to love a lot, I can only send my despisings to a few at a time. It's a fluid list though.
I fucking HATE LIEberman.
you are so fucking funny! I am howling from you. I am also totally honored to be on the monkey's jewlove list. It's a kvelley moment for me. I have a tear in my eye and joy in my heart.
you give good jew. guthy, rhoda, rickles, whoopster. I could go on for days. did you know that polits is a jewgirl, too??? yes, she's one of us! ahhh.
leebs is totally on my not do list. can't bear him. he has a pussy chin. but, he's a huge proponent of censorship in the media. argh.
thank you, my simian stud muffin!
xoxoxoox
jewgirl
Katie- Aww shucks I'm blushing. You know D Cup may actaully be me right?
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