Monday, June 25, 2007

The first gays I ever met

That awful gay marriage "comedy" starring these two jack asses is getting ready to open nationwide in a theatre near you soon. How dumb is the studio who green lit this project? Did they really think that America wanted to see an unfunny movie that is mocking the fight that gays and lesbians are waging for equal marriage rights?


The only thing good about this stinker may be that it gets all of us talking and thinking more about equal rights for all. It got me to thinking about the first gay people I ever met.


Technically the first gay person I ever met was my Uncle Jerry. He was my Mom's brother and he was gay. He did not come out or anything when I was young but he was gay nonetheless. The grown ups on my Mom's side of the family referred to Uncle Jerry as a 'confirmed bachelor.' He lived by himself, as far as I knew, and he went to work every day that he was supposed to and he lived a regular life. He never seemed like he was a crazy sexual voracious pervert or anything like that to me. He just seemed like he was a regular guy who was nice to us kids and who took us out from time to time, he took me to my first pro hockey game when I was a kid.


Years later when I found out he was gay, I also found out from my brother that Uncle Jerry was sick and dying of HIV/AIDS or one of the many diseases related to it. My brother said that Uncle Jerry turned into a bitter angry old man who no one wanted to be around. That bit of news did not surprise me since after all Uncle Jerry was gay before Stonewall, before the gay pride movement, and when he finally did come out everyone knew he was dying of that awful disease. He never got to be who he truly was and he had to endure society's taunts, prejudices, and scorn. His parents would have thrown him out and turned their backs on him if he had come out when they were alive. So really, it's no wonder he was a bitter angry man when he died.


The first out gay person I met was a man named David. He was a friend of my Dad's. They met, I believe, in one of the many mental hospitals my father was in during the late 1960's and early '70's. At that time the American Psychiatric Association said the being gay was a disease so people had their gay sons and daughters put in mental hospitals along with people who actually were mentally unstable.


David came to visit one day and us kids were introduced to him and then we were herded upstairs to play. I think my Mom was afraid for us to be around David, as if he had some gay germ he would infect us with. He and Dad stayed down stairs and played records, talked and laughed, drank a few beers, and then he went home. He seemed perfectly normal to me and my Dad seemed to like him. I don't know what has happened to David since but I'm sure he had to put up with all that same shit my Uncle Jerry did.

My point is that gay people are normal, they are just like you and me. The only difference is that they love people of their own gender. And I, and millions of others as well, think that they should have the same legal rights to marry and adopt children just like straight people do. I'm willing to bet that gay and lesbian married couples would be a hell of a lot better at raising children and making a marriage work than a lot of straight couples you and I know.

I can't do anything about my late Uncle Jerry or about my Dad's friend David, but I can do something about seeing to it that gays and lesbians are granted the same rights and protections that I have. And I can also damn well make sure that I never ever pay to see that piece of junk that The King of Queens and Nicky Boy made. And I hope you don't either.

9 comments:

Fran said...

This type of crap bugs the living daylights out of me.

This brings back memories of my recent (April) wedding. As a 49 year old bride, let it suffice to say that many of my single years were held up with the love and support of great gay friends and no shortage of lesbian back up.

My family, all conservative except for me, were more than a little nervous with the guest list.

What were they expecting? Pink feather boas? Unwanted sexual advances in the men's room? Lisps?
Village People like costumes?

Imagine their shock and surprise when they were confronted with a group of 40/50ish year old men with jobs such as attorney, doctor, dentist, a Ph D, pharmacist, psychologist, journalist...

"Oh" I was told - "your friends are so nice!"

WTF people, those nice friends carried me along when you couldn't.

Deal!

Hear that America !!

P.S. there was no boquet throw and garter fest. I wouldn't allow it unless the gay men could participate. Even an envelope pusher like moi had to draw the line there. But imagine the possibilities!

Anonymous said...

The first time I was aware of knowing a gay person, was when my mother mentioned that one of her co-workers at the Courthouse "liked" women.

This woman was sort of out, which couldn't have been easy in our small town.

Today, she's suffering from Alzheimers and going downhill quickly. She's cared for by her partner, the woman she could never marry. She's been with this woman as long as I can remember.

How is their relationship different than any married couple of their age and longevity as a pair?

The hypocrisy surrounding this subject is astounding.

I long for a time when we don't have to have laws that pass the fundie's ewwww! meter. Because this isn't about morals, this is about sex. And fundies go eewwww! about gay sex (when they're not secretly engaging in it).

Angry Ballerina said...

What a great post. I grew up in a highly gay populated area, and I'm pretty use to it. The one thing that always pissed me off tho, was how the tourists come here and act like P-Town is some sort of show, (which it is) but they act like the year round gay population is some sort of zoo that you pay to get in and watch the debauchery.
My 6th grade teacher was gay, and an awesome man, still is, I talk to him every so often. When we went to go on our end of the year trip to the White Mnts, one of the mothers wouldn't let her son go on the trip, for fear ( I found out later from my mother) that he would be molested. The ironic thing? She was (is) a lesbian.

Anonymous said...

One o' th'many Reasons Th' Cap'n loves Her Pilot so...

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Fran-It never surprises me to find out that other people, even in NYC, are so ignorant of what gay people are like.

D Cup-I agree sugar, it's just plain fucking dumb that people of legal age can't marry who they love.

AB-People who do shit like that parent of your classmate should have their children taken from them and they should be raised by people who know which end is up. I can relate to your saying that people think that the year round gays in P Town are some kind of attractin or something, people think some of us in the South are some kind of barefoot sister fucking racist inbreds, some Southerners are that yes, but the great majority are not.

Cap'n-I love you too dear Cap'n and I hope to be lucky enough to be reborn as a lesbian in my next life.

Fran said...

One last remark about this topic from me... The first gay person I ever met was my cousin. She is about 18 years older than me, so when I was say 5- she must have been about 23.

She had a "friend" named Carmen, which I did not understand could be a girl's name. ( we knew alot of Carmines!) Carmen was short, work Wrangler jeans (it was 1962), a white t-shirt with a sleeve rolled up and her Marlboros in said sleeve. She looked very tough!

She was kind of funny though and good with us kids and we liked how she smoked with her cigarette in her lips and that when she did take it out, it was held "like a man" would.

It was years later that it was clear that these two were a couple. By that time, it had just become "normalized" so no one said or thought anything.

They later broke up and my cousin has been with an amazing woman ever since. They are in their 60's and happy as all get out. Sadly they live in another state and could not make it to the wedding.

All that and there are still members of that side of my family who fear and loathe "the gays" even here in NYC area.

Pam said...

What a great post! As a college prof, I can tell you that this really is not an issue with most young people today. Even in conservative kansas. This is the current civil rights movement, that's for sure.

I must live under a rock, b/c I had not heard about this movie.

Angry Ballerina said...

You know I hail from the south right.....

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Pam-That's good to hear that young people are more accepting than their parents were.


AB-I did not know that you AB. What partof the south do you hail from?