Republican Debate #2 Wrap Up

In order to bring new voices to the political debate in this country we asked the famed Swedish film director Ingmar Bergman to watch the debates for us and to report on it. This is his wrap up of the night's shenanigans in South Carolina:

The debates left a void in my soul. There is no hope. All is lost.

We are sucked into nothingness and emptiness. Time runs sideways for us now. Despair is what we cling to as we fall further and further into the political abyss. But then something stirs us.

Perhaps it is the waitress in Copenhagen who gave us too many Euros back on our bill in that Mexican restaurant.

Or was it the pineapple of forgiveness?

Then in a split second it becomes clear what has stirred our brutalized longing was...

...the memory of Marta leaving. I smiled bitterly at the memory of how she exhaled my soul back at me before she left for the Big Sky country of Montana. Marta, brave strong woman, you fill me with dread even now. Oh Marta, come to me in a dream and give me an enema of truth once more. Martaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

And then all at once a bad joke about personal grooming and money spent in a hair salon brought me back to earth and to this malodorous bed in my home. Damn you jug eared man from the American South! You took my Marta from me once again! I will see you in hell for that.

Hell. Surely I am there all ready. Satan's dog barks at me.

It mocks me and my concentration. I try to distinguish between the various shades of whiteness on the stage that is built on lies and the tears of mothers who sons died in Iraq. Nothing. There is nothing.

Except this:Marta's bicycle adrift in the sea of regret.

And this:The screaming mute from down the block. His silent cries are a balm to my Gilead, a pepper to my steak, a Ten Speed to my Brownshoe, and a plea from beyond.

I break from that reverie and I look at the debates once more. The great grand son of polygamists, the old man with the lumpy face, the man who's first name is almost his last, the Gilmore guy, the angry suit from the state of Hollywood, the evolution deniers, all of them, they spin round and round in a blender that can only bring pain, sweet sweet pain and discomfort.


Out of all of them only one man among them had to courage to speak truths on that stage tonight.
No, I am not referring to Toegruth the Frost Giant, Keeper of Frozen Desires...
And I do not refer to character actor Anthony Zerbe.

I tell you now that the only man who spoke the plain unvarnished truth was the very man you mocked yesterday O Dr. Monkey. I speak of...

Representative Ron Paul.

His statements that American adventurism abroad brought about the horrors of 9/11 were on the kroner, sorry I mean the money. He speaks the truth about this but of nothing else, so beware him and his followers, for they bring not only shame on your nation, they also bring bad cheese to dinner parties.

Leave me now O Dr. Monkey, I must fall back into a fitful sleep so that I can dream of Marta, the ultimate emptiness of life, and the stairs, yes always the stairs. Marta, I climb the stairs to our bedroom! Martaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

Thanks so much Ingmar for your unique take on the debates. We really appreciate it and we'd like you to know that we have yet to see the Seventh Seal all the way through from start to finish. But we promise, one of these days we will.