What have I been up to today?

Why do you ask?

Seriously, who wants to know?

High Hopes

"Nom nom nom."

Spend a little, save a lot

Without going too much into it, the house we made an offer on did not pass inspection. It turns out that the money we spent on getting it inspected may well be the best investment we ever made.

All apologies

If you've noticed my usual torrid posting pace has slowed a little and that I have been e-stalking your blogs a bit less than I usually do then you guessed right.  It's not because I don't like you all anymore or because I have writers block or anything (that's something that I promise will never happen to me because I'm a fat bastard with an opinion on most everything), it's because big changes are in the works here at Monkey Central.  

Sparky has been wanting to sell our condo and find a regular house for some time now and it looks like we're all in on doing so finally.  Financing is a go and we've been looking at more houses than you can shake a stick at, some good, some bad, some right but not quite there.  So that's been occupying my time that I usually devote to blog stalking you and writing my usual cornucopia of insanity on here and on my other blogs.

The flip side to looking for and buying a new place is getting our current place fixed up and since I'm the one who can be home all day if needs be then it falls to me to set up the meetings with the painters, carpet installers, plumbers, etc who will help us get our condo in tip top resale shape.  So I've been doing just that lately, meeting with and getting estimates from home improvement people.  It's a laborious process but since we need to repaint the whole place, do some minor cosmetic repairs, and replace some carpet, it must be done.

Don't worry, I haven't left you all.  I'll still be up late at night doing a post or three way past midnight and I'll still be checking out your blogs but I'll be doing it with a little less frequency until we get the current Monkey Central ready to put on the market.

Thanks for your understanding and thanks once again for reading me as often as you do.

More good news

Brace yourselves ladies, because...

That's right! The western look is in and you know what else? You may have won some of those snazzy clothes. Copy down your lucky number and go to your local participating Levi's dealer and see if you've won!

Seriously, let me know if any of you won anything.

I'm innocent I tell ya!

I have never been to India and even if I had been, then I would have never had anything to do with this.

What? You say you don't believe me?

Alibi?

Of course I have an alibi. I spent all that morning working out.

You don't get a body like mine by doing nothing you know!

After working out I went shopping for new underwear, as you can see my old underwear no longer fit.


Then I remembered I had a dinner date with a certain special lady from north of the border, so I went to pick her up.

Dinner with Naomi was nice but she rebuffed my simian advances. She claimed she was "married" and that I "repulsed" her sexually. That Naomi, she's such a kidder! Anyhoo, that's my alibi. As you can see I was far too busy to ever harm anyone that day in India.

Namaste.

Well, this is just awkward

I swear I was just giving her a "welcome back from vacation" hug. That's all. Now go away, we need to discuss our "Southern Strategy." I mean it, hit the road all of you. Ok fine, have it your way, I'll just leave and Kristi and I can discuss it some other time.


Since you people wouldn't leave me alone how about I pack your fudge? Yeah, I'll do that instead of talking to my running mate. I'll pack your fudge and I'll also check you for hernias, happy now? Too feckin' late to complain, turn your head and cough.

File under "D" for Duh

Unlike Republicans and Libertarians, we monkeys know unfairness and inequality when we see it.

The four stages of a typical Monkey Muck reader