Focus on the Family approved greeting cards

Inside message:
It doesn't matter that you were a giant slut and a glory hole groupie before you got married. What matters now is you give about 20% of your combined income to the church and that you don't question any aspect of our faith.

Inside message:
Best wishes now but if you have any kids and they turn out to be gay or atheists, then we're going to turn our backs on you and treat you like shit. I'm totally not kidding.

Inside message:
When times get tough, read your Bible and remember, eatin' ain't cheatin'.

Inside message:
Praise Jesus for the help he gave you in coming to your senses! His holy grace prevented you from marrying that (check all that apply:)

1. Jew
2. Roman Catholic
3. Wiccan whore
4. man hating bull dyke
5. limp wristed Nancy boy
6. Mormon
7. Unitarian
8. convicted felon
9. Mexican drug lord
10. horse
11. slutty cousin of yours
12. atheist
    
13. pointy headed intellectual
14. Democrat
15. Communist
16. evolutionist
17. member of the British nobility
18. welfare cheat
19. earth worshiper
    
20. negro
    

Marriage customs in Norway

Many people freeze to death in Norway before reaching marriageable age, therefore it's not uncommon for parents to insist that their children marry at a young age. When young girls find an unfrozen young boy they want to marry they then give their would be groom a pine cone. If the young lad accepts the girl he then paints the pine cone and they are considered married. However the legal system prohibits them from consummating their marriage until both bride and groom reach the age of 16. But all bets are off if Sasquatch shows up deflowers either partner.