Lost in translation

"Hey man, I'll cut you if you don't give me some money for the Rand Paul for president campaign!"

"Are you fucking kidding me?  Rand Paul is still running?  He hasn't dropped out yet?"

"Bitch please, of course he's still running.  Now give me some cash for his next ad buy."

"I'm standing my ground against stupid climate change denying, woman hating, Planned Parenthood bashing dopes like him.  So now I'm going to exercise my 2nd Amendment rights."

Let's check in with a teabagger who's in the path of this weekend's super huge winter storm

"I hate big government and it's greedy grabby hands.  I ought to be able to keep all the money I make and not have to pay it in taxes where it gets wasted on salaries for fat cat union thug teachers and cops and city employees.  I know best how I'd spend that money, fuck the government.  Those lazy bastards had better not sit on their fat asses and let all that snow pile up or let the power lines that come to my house go down.  And if I can't make it to work tomorrow, I better be able to go to the library and check out some books by my heroes on Fox News.  Also, if school is closed for any length of time they better find something to do with my kids.  I can't look after them and surf for porn on the internet.  God damn it, when's that snow plow gonna get here?  My street is getting snowed under."

Panacea

Ron Paul (R-Libertarian-ville/Ayn Rand City) says that every problem with our current system of government can be cured by abolishing the Federal Reserve. And then he goes on to babble about returning to the gold standard and the kids with their loud music and the throwing of balls on his front lawn.

Here's what some of his backers have to add about the Federal Reserve:

"I'm a lovely gold sheen. I should be the gold standard. Me. And one day I will be, and that day will be the day they abolish the Fed."

"I can still give blow jobs if we abolish head. Right? Oh shit...you said 'Fed,' didn't you?"

"I back most of what Ron Paul says but maybe we shouldn't be so hasty about abolishing the Fed. I abolished it and look what happened to my hair."

"I want the Fed, the gays, uppity blacks, and the razor stubble on my underarms abolished. NOW!"

"Abolish the Fed. My Uncle Fred. Guys named Ted. A loaf of bread. A two point spread. The movie Fled. Turn the streets blood red. You need a blow to the head. Where's my axe? Hey, come back here..."