I went to the Appalachian Fair today to take some photos. I wanted to take some artsy shots of the rides, of the lights, of the carnies, of my fellow citizens, of the animals in the barns, and of the food, and I did all those things. I walked around in the blazing hot mid-day sun and I took over 200 photos, and some look great and some look blurry. I had planned to spend about two hours at the fair snapping shots but I saw what I wanted to in under and hour, and yes I covered the whole of the place. I was pretty happy with my photographic haul and so I tried to leave.I say "tried" because when I walked out of the main gate there were about 5 of Washington County's fattest, oops, I mean "finest" waiting for me. The main fat deputy in charge asked me my name and told me he needed to see my ID. I asked what the problem was. He said, between labored breaths, that someone had complained that I had been taking too many pictures near the rides. I pointed out that there was no prohibition on photos being taken as I handed him my license. He asked me why I was taking pictures, as if there was something sinister behind my picture taking. I told his fatness that I was taking photos for my own benefit and that I was a writer and photographer.
He snatched my drivers license out of my hand and walked away for about ten minutes. I'm guessing he was checking to see if I was on a sex offender list, the terrorism watch list, and or if there were any outstanding warrants out on me. I wanted to tell him that I wasn't the criminal in my family, they had already been arraigned. Ad I stood there in the blazing sun waiting on Deputy McFatty to check me out other deputies wandered by and asked if I was "the one," upon hearing that I was the sinister photographer they'd give me the evil eye and snort derisively at me.
Finally after finding out that I was a law abiding citizen with no warrants out on me Deputy McFuckingfatpig handed me back my ID and told me I was free to go. I said, "I guess you found out I wasn't a terrorist or a pedophile huh." He blurted out that surely I understood why some parents might be nervous that an older single male was taking photos of their kids on carnival rides. I reminded him that this was the United States and that we're innocent until proven guilty and that there was no ban on anyone taking photos inside the fairgrounds.
When I turned to leave I heard them tell me to have a good day. I wanted to tell them to lose weight, get a clue, and to fuck themselves, but I didn't. Instead I said, "Yeah, right. Whatever."
And that my friends is how my final trip ever to the Appalachian Fair went. I'll do a post on the more pleasant aspects of the fair later and I'll post most all of my fair photos on Flicker later. But I'll never set foot back inside the Gray fairgrounds as long as I live.
