He was also nearly 'Unibrow of the week.'
Showing posts with label hair cuts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hair cuts. Show all posts
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
An open letter to the one legged barber who cut my hair today
Dear One Legged Barber,
I'm all about "mainstreaming" handicapped people into society and the workforce but dude, you really creeped me out today.
I'm totally cool with you needing to use my shoulder to steady yourself from time to time as you move around my enormous head to cut all my hair evenly, but what I am not cool with is you pushing your crotch into my shoulder as you cut my hair. It really was disconcerting to have you shove your package into my shoulder and breath heavily as you cut my hair. I felt like you should have been paying me for letting you dry hump my shoulder.
But you know what old man? As creeped out as I was that you pleasured yourself on my shoulders as you cut my hair, I was still going to tip you. But then you had to open that fat yap of yours and that tip went the way of the Dodo bird, the street car, the truthful Republican, that's right old man, your tip vanished into the dustbin of history when you started making your comments about Obama. I know you thought you were among your racist friends, but in my case you were dead wrong. I know most old farts like you are buying the shit that Bush McCain is selling, but this old fart doesn't. I left the last guy because he loved to listen to FOX News radio while he cut hair. I came back to your shop because no one talked about politics last time and the other guy who cut my hair did a good job. But I won't be back to your shop anymore you old horn dog.
You may be afraid of Osama, Obama, and Yo Momma, but I'm not. I'm voting for the guy. And you know what else old man, I'm gonna give the money I was going to tip you to the Obama campaign. It's only two bucks but I'll be damned if I give any money to a one legged, penis pushing, dry humping old racist Republican. Maybe my two bucks will help pay the salary of some young organizer who is out there registering more black, or Latino, or female voters.
Sincerely yours,
Dr. Monkey
I'm all about "mainstreaming" handicapped people into society and the workforce but dude, you really creeped me out today.
I'm totally cool with you needing to use my shoulder to steady yourself from time to time as you move around my enormous head to cut all my hair evenly, but what I am not cool with is you pushing your crotch into my shoulder as you cut my hair. It really was disconcerting to have you shove your package into my shoulder and breath heavily as you cut my hair. I felt like you should have been paying me for letting you dry hump my shoulder.
But you know what old man? As creeped out as I was that you pleasured yourself on my shoulders as you cut my hair, I was still going to tip you. But then you had to open that fat yap of yours and that tip went the way of the Dodo bird, the street car, the truthful Republican, that's right old man, your tip vanished into the dustbin of history when you started making your comments about Obama. I know you thought you were among your racist friends, but in my case you were dead wrong. I know most old farts like you are buying the shit that Bush McCain is selling, but this old fart doesn't. I left the last guy because he loved to listen to FOX News radio while he cut hair. I came back to your shop because no one talked about politics last time and the other guy who cut my hair did a good job. But I won't be back to your shop anymore you old horn dog.
You may be afraid of Osama, Obama, and Yo Momma, but I'm not. I'm voting for the guy. And you know what else old man, I'm gonna give the money I was going to tip you to the Obama campaign. It's only two bucks but I'll be damned if I give any money to a one legged, penis pushing, dry humping old racist Republican. Maybe my two bucks will help pay the salary of some young organizer who is out there registering more black, or Latino, or female voters.
Sincerely yours,
Dr. Monkey
Friday, May 23, 2008
Give me a Kinsey
I got a hair cut the other day and now my hair looks like this:
If I decide I like it, the next time I go to the barberhsop I'll tell the barber to "Give me a Kinsey." Then before he tries to deck me I'll whip out this photo and I'll explain to him who Dr. Kinsey was. Yep, that sounds like fun.
If I decide I like it, the next time I go to the barberhsop I'll tell the barber to "Give me a Kinsey." Then before he tries to deck me I'll whip out this photo and I'll explain to him who Dr. Kinsey was. Yep, that sounds like fun.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
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