Asshole of the month

That's Phil Mickelson.  You may remember him from when he used to be good at playing golf.  He was good enough to make a living at playing that silly game.  He was so good at it in fact that he made millions of dollars from doing it.  He won tournaments and got millions of dollars for doing so.  Then he racked up millions of dollars from commercial endorsements because he was good at playing a silly game that's a disaster for the environment.

You may also remember him from when he said he was going to move out of California because he didn't want to pay his share of taxes to keep that state running for everyone.  He wanted to keep his money and use it to fund his lavish life and to gamble with in Las Vegas.

Now that he's in the twilight of his career and he's headed for the senior's tour, he's become an even bigger cry baby.  He and the rest of the USA's Ryder Cup team sucked it big time in last weekend's competition, they got beat handily by the Europeans, and he's not about to take any blame for not playing his silly little game at the highest level.  Nope.  The loss isn't his fault he insists, even though he played badly.  The loss is the fault of his team's captain, Tom Watson.  Watson didn't manage the team like Mickelson wanted him to and that's why the USA got beat again in the silly competition for a silly cup.  Way go be Phil.  You're the face of modern conservationism at it's finest, you suck at something and then blame someone else and you don't want to pay your share of taxes even though you use far more natural resources than the poor people you and your country club buddies look down upon.

I've said it before on this blog and I'll probably say it again, Phil Mickelson is a rich white guy with a huge sense of entitlement and he's a giantic asshole.  Fuck him.  And fuck you too if you look up to his fat ass.

People from a fashion textbook talk about Phil Mickelson and his taxes

 "Poor Phil Mickelson.  I hate it that he's having so much trouble deciding how to not pay his fair share of taxes.  He's only a millionaire after all, it's not like he's a billionaire or something."

 "Yo, Phil, don't worry man, we didn't need those flack jackets and night vision goggles your tax dollars were going to buy us.  We'll make due without them, somehow.  As long as you've got enough to live super comfortably, that's all that matters, you fat fucking piece of shit."

 "I'd fuck him but I stopped fucking cheap assholes long ago.  I only fuck well to do assholes who don't mind paying what they owe."

 "I don't want to live in a world where a doughy white guy with man boobs can't weasel out on his tax responsibility.  I also don't want to live in a world where my son and I can't dress in matching outfits every day of the week.  That's just how I roll."

 "I'm not wearing panties."

 "I've pulled up his financial information and I'm going to sell it to the nice Russian guys who whore me out on the weekends."

"We have no opinion about Phil Mickelson, we're too busy trying to get jobs modeling for Benetton.  What?  They don't do print ads much anymore because they downsized and closed a bunch of their stores in the USA?  Well fuck it then.  How about you tell Phil to use that money he's not going to pay in taxes to invest in Benetton so they can open those stores back up...oh fuck it, who are we kidding?  We still don't give a shit.  Now leave us alone so we can go find us some meth."