How to tell if you're trapped in a Nick Lowe song

• You operate a telephone switchboard and your name is Susan.
• You're in love with a telephone switchboard operator named Susan.
• You made an American squirm and it felt so right.
• You spent Christmas at the airport.
• You keep planning to write the book about your love but somehow you haven't gotten around to it yet, but you know that when you do write it and it gets published, it's going to be a hit.
• You're half a boy and half a man.
• You're cruel to be kind.
• You wonder what's so funny about peace, love, and understanding.
• You knew the bride when she used to rock and roll
• You love the sound of breaking glass.
• You're looking for a lover in the heart of the city.
• You remember the night when the kid tried to cut off his right arm in a bid to save a bit of power.
• You live on a battlefield.
• You've got seven nights to rock and seven nights to roll with your ragin' eyes.
• You trained her to love you then you broke her heart.
• You say all men are liars and that's the truth.
• You know what's shakin' on the hill.
• You're a Gaijin man in the land of the rising sun.
• You're gonna build a jumbo ark, a stretch 747.
• You know what the rose of England says.