"Ever since I started wearing these Rick Santorum style sweater vests, no one but this horse will have anything to do with me. I'm such a lucky gal!"
"Some white person gave this to me. I gave them a box of highly toxic black mold in return."
"This is the only bag I can fit all my drugs in and I'm not going anywhere with out my heroin because you never know when I'm going to run in to one of my grandkids."
"I'm wearing apples but I've still got my cherry. I promised it to Mitt Romney, he's going to take it in the afterlife."
"Hello? Police? Could you please come and help chase this awful monkey away from me?"
"Life is so much better now that the Republicans have control of my body! Praise you and me and the G-O-P!"
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