Rush Limbaugh, your dream of owning an NFL team has bitten the dust due in a large part to all the hateful things you've said about black folks and President Obama. So there you go, hate speech has a price. But if you are really serious about being a sporting overlord, then I've got just the solution for you. However, you may not like it.
Here's what you need to do if you want to the the owner of a pro football Rush: join forces with the WWE guys and restart the XFL. Only this time, you rename it the Conservative Football League, or the CFL for short.
It's a tailor made solution for you Rush and all those minority hating football fans everywhere. If you and Vince McMahon own the league then you could keep out all those talented black football players and you could stock their teams with the white guys the NFL doesn't want. You could also hire only conservative coaches who will call conservative plays, which means no passing except on third down, no going for it on fourth down, and no onside kicks.
By setting up your own league you can rail and rant against the liberals in the NFL who kept you out of their league. You can tell your radio audience how the NFL is filled with Communists, femi-nazis, affirmative actionists, and gutless Hollywood/east coast tax and spend liberals. Surely your millions of listeners will flock to your league and leave the NFL behind when they find out the truth as told to them by you, their dear leader.
If you do get the CFL up and running I envision the following teams:
- the Phoenix Goldwaters
- the Orange County Reagans
- the San Clemente Nixons
- the Georgia Newts
- the South Carolina Soul Mates
- the St. Louis Schlaflys
- the Birmingham Birchers
- the Boston Buckleys
- Uncle Ben's White Rice
- Loofahs Unlimited
- The KKK
- The Weekly Standard
- The National Review
- White Lilly Flour
6 comments:
You do realize that CFL stands for the Canadian Football League? Its a better game actually. So what if we take all your rejects. We are an equal opportunity employer. Rush just couldn't survive in our socilist paradise. So keep your racists on your side of the border. You broke him you bought him. Poor Rush. Who ever would have thought that being a racist douchebag would cost you something you badly wanted? I hear the Clan plays pick-up two hand touch football on Thusdays. Maybe you can start small with them.
You forgot to include the Dallas Douchebags and the Houston Bugkillers.
White Lilly Four... ha!
But the Uncle Ben's box has a picture of a negro on it. Are you sure it's okay?
Calvin-I know CFL stands for Canadian Football League. If Rush starts his own league like I want him to then he can also start railing against you socialist Canadians for trying to prevent him from using those initials.
Ubie-They can use Uncle Ben as their token to prove they aren't racist.
fucking brilliant Doc! I can't wait to see the mascots!!!!
Sadly, I liked the idea of the XFL simply to have more football in the year, but alas, it was not to be.
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