Rating some of the TV chefs

Okay, I admit it. I watch the Food Network from time to time and I've actually tried some of their recipes. It's been a mixed bag when it comes to results though.

Here's my top tier of TV chefs:I find Giada annoying to listen to but she's easy on the eyes and on the palette. I've made two or three things she's made and they've all been great. Clearly she knows what she's doing in the kitchen. But if she's in a non cooking show, I won't watch her because like I said, she annoys me.
We're both Jamie fans here at Monkey Central. We watched all his 'how to' shows, we've watched his other shows (the ones about school lunches, starting his restaurant 15, and the one where he went to Italy), we own a couple of his cookbooks, and despite it costing almost ten bucks, we bought the first issue of his magazine. Everything either one of us has made of his has been good and it's easy to make. I've learned quite a bit about cooking by watching and reading Jamie's stuff. As he likes so say on his shows, "Go on, my son."

The good but not great tier:

When she speaks her voice is like nails on a blackboard to me. I want to make her stop talking forever when I hear Rachel ray giggle and say, "EVOO." But she's made a few things that I've liked after I tried making them myself. But the chicken breast in balsamic vinegar topped with a dollop of sour cream dish she made one night came out nothing short of vile. Basically, I can take her or leave her.

The holy hell these people should be tried for crimes against food tier: I tried to like Marcus Samuelson but I just can't. His accent is freaky and his food stinks. Everything I have made of his has been bad. I made a fish cake dish recipe of his one night and it made our old condo smell like mustardy burnt ass. Seriously, ick. Yes, I know the dark haired one is dead but I'm not about to let the Two Fat Ladies off the hook. These broads never met a piece of string or fat, or small woodland animal they didn't want to deep fry or boil to within an inch of their lives. I made a ricotta and honey pie from one of their recipes one night and it tasted like sweet swamp debris. Maybe I dislike them so much because the one holding the carrots was slagging Jamie Oliver in the British press a while back, or maybe I dislike then because they made shitty looking food that put British cooking back a couple hundred years.

Also in this category are Paula Deen (because she is such a negative southern stereotype who never met a piece of pork fat she didn't want to slather all over something) and that dude with the spiky bleached hair do that does that awful show about diners on Food Network (seriously, Food Network, that guy has all the charisma of a muskrat who's gnawing his leg off to get free from a trap).

And finally the female chef hotties I like to watch but who's food I have not tried to make yet: I find Ina Garten to be inexplicably hot. I like that she's a little round woman who cooks up sinfully rich food. And then there's Nigella. Need I say more?