What to do with that leftover turkey

This list may be a few days late but feel free to copy it and use it later. Here's what you can do with that leftover turkey:

1. Grind it up and snort it.
2. Freeze it and make Turkey Pops.
3. Use it in poultices.
4. Bury it in the backyard and never speak of it again.
5. Make a nice warm hat out of it.
6. Mail it to someone you love.
7. Drive it to Walla Walla, Washington.
8. Breathe life into it and call it Mimi.
9. Take it out and just stare at it.
10. Buy it some nice shoes.
11. Caress it.
12. Enroll it in parochial school.
13. Slap the ol' Vulcan mind meld on it and see what's on it's mind.
14. Use it in your meat sculpture.
15. Get it stoned and then set it free.
16. Indulge in a Turkey-tini.
17. Tell it the good news about Jesus Christ.
18. Dress it up and pretend it's your child.
19. Unionize it.
20. Read a novel to it.
21. Sing arias in it's general vicinity.
22. Make good luck charms out of it.
23. Tattoo it.
24. Teach it a foreign language.
25. Introduce it to a Tofurkey.